A Never Ending Battle

Its 2012!

2012-01-13T15:16:00.000-08:00

Well Hi. I can't believe it is 2012. That makes me feel old and I'm only 30, sigh.

This is the time of year I usually post my New Years Resolutions (Dun, Dun, DUN) but not this year. This year the plan is to relax, do what I can and let go of what I can't. I'm sure I will have some sort of money making scheme like always and hopefully I will learn a thing or two.

Mostly I just want to focus on my kids while I can. Before I know it they won't want to hang out and I will regret not spending every waking moment basking in their cheery silly little faces.

Maybe I'll be on here a bit more. I hope so, I would like to think someday my kids can read this blog and really get to know me as a person thru it.

-Amber

Happy Birthday Weston!

2011-07-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

Walking on Mars at the Planetarium

Dear Weston,

Your six. SIX. SIX?! Wow. I can't even wrap my head around that. You still have the same belly laugh you have had since you were a toddler, the same sweet smile and all that energy.

Right now your favorite thing to do it ride your bike. That's right, you learned how to ride without training wheels! We worked on it in TX but after a few nasty falls you really needed a break. One night you came up to me and dad and said "I'm going to ride my bike today" with a very determined look. So we went outside, you got on your bike and you just did it. It was so awesome!

You also love your scooter, playing soccer and doing anything acrobatic.

In Kindergarten last year you had Mrs. Ward. She was a great teacher and you had a really hard time saying goodbye. You got to go on your first field trip to the Natural History Museum in Austin and see a dinosaur skeleton. You had a little girlfriend named Barbara that you had the biggest crush on. Cam and you would spend an hour after school trading Pokemon cards with her and you would push her on the swing. It was adorable!

Dad taught you how to play Chess this year and it is your new favorite game. Well that and anything to do with Zombies :). You spend hours each week playing Chess with Dad and Cam and I have to say, you are really good at it! You learn so quickly and try so hard at everything you do.

Sweetie, you are one of the sweetest little men I've ever met. Always willing to share, always the first one there if someone is upset or sad, always making little notes for me and daddy telling us you love us. I've never met a little boy who is so aware of how others feel. You still love to cuddle and every time you climb on my lap I just think how big you are getting and that someday you won't be able to climb on my lap anymore. While I'm going to miss this stage like every other stage you have gone thru, it is so fun to see you growing up and becoming a little man. I am so proud of who you are and how you are growing up. I am so lucky to be your Mom! Daddy and I really love you so much and we are so excited to see you growing up into such an amazing boy.

Mwah!

Mom

Happy Birthday Cameron!

2010-11-28T10:51:00.000-08:00

Dear Cam,

Wow Little Man, you are 7 years old! You're huge! This year has been a big one for you, you have had so many changes and adventures this past year. You ended Kindergarten at a Private school then started first at a new Charter school just to be told we were moving to TX and starting at yet another school. You took the move so well though, we are so proud of you at how well you are doing. You have some new best friends, Parker, Cooper, Justin, Ty and Gage but you still take time to play with your little bro who adores you.

You learned how to ride your bike this past year, learned how to read so well, discovered that you love soccer and basketball and have taken your love of art to a whole other level. You love to make paper crafts like building a microscope out of paper and tape. You make cards for everyone and you tape a pencil or marker to each as a gift, people love them! You are also dying to start up your own business and keep asking for a debit card. I have a feeling you are going to be quite the business man.

You love music and pick up tunes so quick and you love to dance. Your school had a dance competition and you won for your break dancing! Your always willing to help out in the kitchen and you are starting to be really adventurous outdoors.

You are so bright, funny, caring, creative and adventurous. You have this amazing imagination and you are such a great leader. Your teacher adores you and says you are always the first with your hand up to answer questions and the first to help someone when needed.

I'm so proud of you honey! Your such a great little person and I'm so excited to be your mom. I love you sweetie!

Love,

Mom

Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T13:03:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is turkey day and the kids and I are doing absolutely nothing today to get ready. Cam and Wes have the entire week off from school so we have been at the bounce house, out to lunch, gone to a movie, out for ice cream...whew, time for some relaxation!

Usually for Thanksgiving we either go to Patti's or Misty's for a yummy meal so It feels pretty weird to have a 20lb turkey (Yes, we love turkey, don't judge me!) thawing in my fridge. This will be the first year in our nine years of marriage that we haven't gone to someone else's house. Although I am a little excited to have a little family Thanksgiving with just us, I can't help but be a little sad when I think about missing out on Patti and Matt's turkey, Annette's and my moms rolls, Robyn and Misty's desserts. Sigh. I could go on forever! But this is the year we will start our own traditions which just might include eating Thanksgiving dinner by candelight or eating in our pajamas, I guess we will see what strikes our fancy tomorrow.

I'm thankful for my amazing husband who never fails to comfort me when I need it, who works so hard to give our family the things we need but also spoils us, who gets down on the ground to wrestle with our kids and makes sure to hug and kiss them everyday and tell them he loves them without hesitation. He has more patience that I ever will and he is the handiest man I know. He knows pretty much everything and if he doesn't know it he will within a day. Doug has been by my side through tantrums (mine), colic (the kids), multiple hospitalizations, illnesses, babies and so much more. We have been through 5 moves in only 9 years yet he is still up for more adventure which, knowing us, we will see plenty of in the coming years.

I'm thankful for my two little men who are energetic, healthy, curious and who also happen to be best friends. This move has been hard on the kids but it has also made them grow closer to each other. Cam picks Wes up from school every afternoon and Wes just lights up when he sees Cam walking down the hallway. My sweet kids also made me breakfast in bed today, how many 5 and 7 year olds do that?! They are well mannered and brilliant and kind. Their adventurous and brave and are aways expecting justice to prevail. Their world is fair and honest and everything comes in two...one for each of them. Well, they think so at least :)

I'm thankful for my family, all of them! I was born into an incredible family then married into another one. I can honestly say I don't just love my family but I LIKE them too, how lucky am I?

I'm thankful that our family is supporting us moving here even if they don't understand our reasons.

I'm thankful for my amazing friends. I'm lucky to have friends still that I met as early as four years old and some of my best friends also happen to be my family. They have been with me through babies, sickness, surgeries, deaths and plenty of new beginnings. They put up with my insecurities, my strange humor and my stubborn opinions.

I'm so thankful for technology! I miss my girls nights with Misty and pottery talk with Patti and sitting around with the sister in laws talking about our kids, how they would grow up together and giving each other ideas and advice. I miss meeting my dad for lunch and chatting with Jim after dinner. I miss my mom just showing up to see my kids and bringing them fun little treats. I miss my shopping nights with Robin, Leatherbys with Jess, Coffee weekends with Nat, just sitting around and chatting with Sandy. I miss cooking dinners for Mike, Brad and Tricky. I miss my neighborhood girls who always included me even if I didn't fit in while making me feel like maybe I did. I miss just going over to see my nieces and nephews and just sit and feel at home. So I am grateful for cell phones, text messaging, email, web cams, Facebook and airplanes. Because if it wasn't for these things I would have never had the courage to move. When I'm sad I can text my friends and feel connected in under a minute.

These are just a few things I'm thankful for and I just hope that my luck won't run dry any time soon because really, my life is so much more than what I ever hoped it could be.

We moved!

2010-11-19T19:44:00.000-08:00

Well we finally did what we have been talking about doing for the last 6 years...we moved to Austin TX! There were so many pro's and con's to moving but in the end we decided it just wasn't a job Doug could turn down and the schools for the kids were a huge deciding factor. We found tenants to rent the house and they needed to be in within a week so we packed up and moved in with Patti and Jim for six weeks while we house hunted for a rental down here. We found a cute little house to rent for a while to make sure this is really the area we want to be in and so far the kids love it. They have a friend behind the house who climbs the fence to play, a park really close by and we can walk to school.

We asked the kids what they miss about UT and what they love about Austin and they both agree that they miss family the most in UT and the thing the love about TX is hot lunch, lol. Wes gets to go to all day Kindergarten here and although it took some getting used to (for both of us) he has really loved it. Their classes have been great to them and their teachers are both amazing.

I'm trying to make new friends, luckily I have a new friend down here named Colleen who has saved our bacon over and over. She brought us blankets the first night so our kids actually had something to sleep one (Long story) and has invited me out with the girls so many times. I think I would be a sobbing homesick mess more than I am if it wasn't for her.

Doug and I drove down here (My daddy gave us nights at the Marriott and my mom packed us a giant jar of cookies to munch on, woot!) and my awesome mother in law Patti kept the kids for the weekend then flew them out for us. Poor her and the kids, Wes had the croup that weekend and Cam ended up with the flu and threw up on the plane and right before. How cool is this though...the pilot let the kids program the plane! They said it was awesome and it was the first story they told their new friends. Moving was a bit of an adventure because our moving truck was a week late. We ended up buying a futon and Doug's desk and thats all the furniture we had for a week. I had to go to Colleens to do laundry because we didn't bring enough clothes in the car and we had to buy a mini fridge to keep a few drinks cold. We ate out pretty much three times a day but hey, at least we got to discover local joints right? We finally got our truck on Halloween night and were able to bring in the mattresses to sleep on. The kids decided to share a room here and they were pretty excited to finally have all their stuff. My amazing Father in law Jim drove Doug's car down here for him and helped us get the house set up too. Seriously, I have amazing family!

Anyway, we are all set up and now it's time for me to find a part time job but first we have Thanksgiving this week, Cam's birthday next week, Patti comes in the next weekend and my parents come in on the 16th of Dec. Yay!!! I am so excited for the next three weeks of family and fun. I wonder if anyone could smuggle Misty in their luggage...?

My Handsome Little Men

2010-11-06T19:30:00.001-07:00

Someone learned how to ride his bike...

2010-09-20T19:46:00.001-07:00

New Pics of My Boys

2010-08-03T18:14:00.001-07:00

My baby is 5 today! Crazy!

2010-07-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Wes,

Wow buddy, you're 5! Sometimes I forget how old your getting because I'm so used to your little voice and little boy run. But these days I have noticed the new laugh you have, you sound like a little man and even though I'm so glad to see you growing up and learning new things, it's hard to see you getting so much bigger.

I asked you what you wanted for your birthday and you told me cupcakes and water guns. Then you told me you did not want presents, nothing wrapped, just water guns, one for you and one for Cam. You said you wanted to go swimming somewhere new with a slide during the day then the water guns and cupcakes at night but only after we ate pancakes, hash browns and bacon. We were so impressed that you knew exactly what you wanted that we did it all just like that. I love that you know exactly what you want and how you want it in life!

You really are the kindest little boy. If you see a child cry in a store you try to comfort them, if Cam doesn't have money for a toy you try to give him your money, if you see a toddler getting themselves in trouble you get so concerned. You know how to make everyone laugh and smile and your always the first to forgive someone.

Your newest favorite thing is to make music and Dance. You get online and listen to a playlist and dance all around your room. We have so many videos of you dancing thru the years, I love it! You keep asking to learn how to play the piano but you get frustrated when Daddy tried to teach you the basics, you just want to play a song now you say.

You have discovered battling with Cam, it's your favorite game. You kick and wrestle on the trampoline until someone gets hurt but then you just want to do it again. Cam is your best friends and you always tell me you want to be just like him, you try to do everything he does. I love that you two are such good buddies.

Your going through a bit of a phase where things scare you easily...the dark, heights, bees, snakes, traffic, etc. Most of these things are really good fears though! You have conquered your water fear recently, you jumped into the pool with your floaties and told me to let go and you started to kick and paddle. I was so impressed! We are working on swimming lessons again and by next year I'm sure you will be like a little fish.

We are so proud of you sweetie, you are a wonderful little guy and I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

I love you!

Mommy

WARNING: Political Rant Ahead...You Have Been Warned

2010-06-26T13:11:00.000-07:00

I choose to share my political views on my blog so my kids will know where I stand one day, not to offend or cause a ruckus. Respectful arguments and differing opinions are always welcomed here :)

I got online today and saw yet another bashing of illegal immigrants, mainly people complaining about Hispanics. Honestly, It made me sick. I am so tired of people making it out to be OUR country, OUR land, OUR Economy. People tend to forget that the US was where all of our ancestors came to have a new life, new job opportunities, religious freedom and a safe environment for their children. These people want the same thing! Whether they are from South America, Korea, India or any other nation. We all want the best for our future generations, we want safe clean streets for our kids to play on and an economically free country to be allowed to start a business and support our families.

I hate the stereotype that these immigrants are lazy, it kills me because the immigrants (some nationalized, some not)that I know are some of the hardest working people I know. They have applied for citizenship but are told they have to leave the country and wait 3 years to reapply plus pay around 3000 USD to be able to finish the paper work which will take 18-60 months. We have friends who had to pay well over 5000.00 just to come live here and still had to wait over a year to move to UT and another year to be able to legally work! These people WANT to work, they are willing to do jobs that snobs like us look down on and our government wants to toss them out?

A huge percentage of illegal immigrants have had a valid work Visa at one point that our government refuses to renew or were married to US military personnel and lost status due to divorce. These people still have Tax ID numbers and are paying not only Federal and State tax but also paying into Social Security, Medicare and Unemployment Insurance but they can't actually use the services because our government has no problem with taking their money from a pay check but if they cash in a red flag will be put on their status. How can we know how much these people are contributing vs. using government services if we won't allow them a tax ID or SSN to be able to use?

Once you lose your Visa status in the US you have to wait a minimum of two years to refile and you cannot be living in the US to refile. If you're caught living in the US after being told no on your renewal you get to be shipped "home" to a country where you have no home, no job and possibly no family. Even worse let's say your spouse lives here and is a legal citizen and you are not, you two have two beautiful kids who are US citizens. Did you know you don't get to take your kids with you when you're deported if their other parent is a citizen? You're given 3 hours to pack and say goodbye and taken to the airport. Your spouse now has to apply for a VISA for themselves and your children for the country you were sent to, the odds of those being given to you are insanely low and if successful you get a 30-90 day Visa and have to wait another year at least to apply again once it expires. Yes, I actually know of someone in that exact situation. A stay at home mom who was taken from her home at 11:00 at night to be sent back to Venezuela, all because some paperwork missed a deadline. Her husband was left to comfort her two little girls, sell the house, sell everything they owned, find a Country that would allow them all to live as a family (Canada gave them a year Visa) and to pay US fee's, Venezuela fee's and airfare. Wow, that stay at home mom was such a threat to our country wasn't she?

We will never know how much these people contribute to the economy until we give them their own tax ID/Soc number whether they are a permanent citizen or not. There is an estimated 7 billion dollars paid in taxes every year by these hardworking people. Sadly people are scamming them, they come into the US are told to see this guy about a social security number and they assume it is legit, they get a card and everything. There are thousands of people every year who go in to get treated for emergency care, apply for Medicare or apply for a loan to be told they were scammed. I saw this at the bank all the time.

People complain that they are sending money out of the country to their families in other countries. Yes, them sending large amounts of money could be a problem but sending over 100.00 to family while spending 1000.00 here is still a large contribution for our economy. On the other side of that coin buying goods from these countries or sending money to families in need is not only helping their economy but ours. We buy insane amounts of produce, paper goods, spices, fabrics and canned goods from South America. By helping their economy it keeps our prices for these products down and lets us have the lifestyle we want.

I know if I had a family member living in New Zealand, China or any other country that I wouldn't bat an eye at sending them money to help them feed their family and keep them safe, I would be shocked if someone told me I was being a bad citizen for doing so, then I would laugh at them! People tend to forget these are real people having these issues, they are not just statistics with no faces.

Arizona now has officers walking down streets asking people for their VISA papers. Any bets that the amounts of people being puled from European decent are having a much better day than those who look like they may be Latin American? How insulting and humiliating would that be for you to be stopped, accused and harassed because of your skin color? Racial profiling is so wrong it makes me sick. It should NEVER happen. The discussions today are going in the wrong direction, we need to change the process to become citizens, not throw up fences and make honest people feel inferior. My children are going to grow up and see this and wonder what was wrong with us. We teach our kids to treat everyone the same, that skin color doesn't matter, to treat people how we would want to be treated yet we allow our government to do this to families?

I can only hope that when my children's generation is in office they will have finally figured out that no matter the skin color, sexual preference or income level a person is at, that we are all still people just trying to make it a better world for our families.

Road Trip 2010

2010-06-25T18:30:00.001-07:00

My awesome sister Misty

2010-06-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

I still remember calling my sister one night on the phone when my oldest baby was little (Maybe 5 weeks old?) and he wouldn't stop crying. I mean CRYING. Every night 6:00 would hit and it was like a switch would go on and he would start crying and keep going until 9:30. I also had postpartum depression and I was convinced that he was crying because he hated having me as his mom. I couldn't nurse right, I couldn't make my baby comfortable, I couldn't do anything right in my mind. My husband was going out with the guys for the first time since we had this little man and I could not let myself call him so I called my sister instead. She told me that it will get better over and over while I bawled my eyes out then promptly told me to call and get my meds upped the next day (Which I totally needed by the way). I think I called her every night after that for oh, what? a year?. Then I had another baby and it started all over again. She never once told me to get over it or to stop complaining, she just marched over here with books, magazines, movies, lots of chocolate and arms to hold my babies with. I was always welcome at her house to just come over and veg out and try to hold on to the slivers of sanity that I was desperately trying to keep a hold of.

I know I can never say thank you enough times to her to ever repay her for taking over her evenings for so long, the cell phone bills I'm sure I wracked up and the cost of all the chocolate she bought me to cheer me up but... Misty, you saved my life and I love you and appreciate you more than you will ever know!

And when you are dealing with this...

Just remember...It Will Get Better!!! Also, I have a whole lot of junk food, books, magazines and two really strong arms these days.

Father's Day

2010-06-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have a couple amazing men in my life that I just need to give some credit to because, wow, what would my life be like without these men? First my hubby. He is such an amazing daddy to my kids. He is so patient, he will teach them how to do something over and over without losing his temper. He is also the fun one, most days when he comes home the kids are jumping on the trampoline and he runs out there and jumps on with them right away. He is always there to teach them, give hugs when they are hurt and he always teaches them to respect me both as their mom and as a person. I didn't really know what to expect from him when we became parents, but I know that he is so much more to them than I could have ever imagined. Thanks babe for being a great daddy every single day!

My father has always played such a huge role in my life. He has put up with all my dramatic teenage years, my fit's and my manic moments and he always has something positive to offer that I need to hear. When I had my boys he was right there with my mom at the hospital or calling as soon as he could from out of town. He always made me feel like I was special and loved growing up and he still does. My dad has always just been a phone call away if I need him and that has meant so much to me over the years. He has always accepted me for me and I never feel judged or looked down on by him. He really is an amazing Dad. So Dad, I love you and Happy Father's Day!

Last but not least I just have to tell you that I have an awesome father in law. He is so extremely generous, kind and he can cheer me up so fast when I need it. He adores his grandkids and always takes time to play with them. He taught my husband how to be a father and I will always appreciate that. Happy Father's Day Jim!

My Power of Moms Ah Ha! Moments

2010-06-14T13:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my amazing sister I got to go to the Power of Mom’s Spa Retreat last weekend and wow, it was exactly what I needed! There were so many women with great ideas, observations and who have the same goals as a mother that I do. I was sitting there writing down everything I could and trying to get the exact wording down when all of the sudden I heard the simplest phrase that changed my expectations of myself and my kids when it comes to teaching and enjoying them. Linda Eyre had so many wonderful little lessons that stood out for me but the one that hit me the hardest was: Life Is Long.

Life Is Long. How simple but perfect is that? I don’t have to do it all today. They don’t have to understand it, comprehend it or learn it all today. I don’t have to squeeze in everything to point of a breakdown because there is time to do it. I don’t have to do the lemonade stand, a lesson on dinosaurs, teach them about music and clean the entire house all in 4 hours (Yes, that was seriously all on a to do for just one morning 2 weeks ago) and I don’t have to do or say the perfect thing because you know, I get a second chance everyday I’m with my kids.

Another Ah Ha! Moment for me was that Life Plays Out in Seasons. This is my time to be a mommy. This is the only time I will get to play playdoh with my kids, sing to them at night and read to them while making the funny voices. When they are teenagers they probably won’t want me running in the sprinklers with them or making faces at them to cheer them up. While I need my own personal achievements I realized it’s okay that I didn’t promote my website as much as I could have or that I haven’t quite made it back to get my degree or become a pottery guru because my time will come. Life is in Seasons and right now it’s my season as a mommy. My season as a student or a business owner will be here before I know it but for now I’m going to enjoy the season I’m in and forgive myself for what I’ve missed.

It’s The Feeling That Counts. My kids aren’t going to remember the matching outfits I put them in or the baby gap onesie I paid 30.00 for. They aren’t going to care if I had that coach purse or if I highlight my hair every 6 weeks. My kids will remember the feeling of the moment and that I took the time to have that moment with them. I took my kids to a splash fountain at the downtown mall a few weeks ago, It was free, I looked horrible because I was too stressed and tired to do my makeup and the kids both had bed head when we left. I made myself just enjoy that outing, I took pictures with my sis, I laughed at all the kids antics and we got a .99 cent ice cream cone after while we dried off. Since that day my kids have asked me when can we go back every single day. They just remember having fun with me and their cousins, my baby even said “Mommy, I remember how much you laughed with us at the sprinkler park” how great is that? So Allison, thank you for reminding me about enjoying the moment and reminding me what is really important.

Thank you ladies for the amazing work you put into this retreat! Thank you Misty for taking me for my birthday and seeing how much I needed to go even if I didn't see it first. I love you woman!

I'm Back!

2010-06-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited to blog again, yay! The last few months have been crazy like always but really, I need to blog so I'm going to try this yet again. I just got home from an amazing mom's retreat and I will post about it tomorrow. It's also summer so I'm going to copy a bunch of mommies and do a bucket list for summer. This week I also have a top secret project to do for Doug, let's hope I figure it out. Misty, I need your help!

Okay all, I have to get up early so I am off to bed but I WILL be posting tomorrow so check back in. :) I miss you all!

2010 New Years Resolutions

2010-01-01T12:39:00.001-08:00

Well sadly quite a few of this years resolutions were on last years list and need to be carried over. But hey, at least they aren't being chucked off the list and forgotten right?

Losing weight is back on the list, I lost and kept off 10 so I have 20 more to go. I'm doing a 30 Day Shred kick off with the girls and I plan to be down to my ideal weight and BMI by May 15th at the latest. Then I am rewarding myself with new clothes and a season pass to 7 Peaks for the kids. On that note; I also need to teach the kids to be healthier and not let so much junk into the house.

I've loved getting to know my boys on a one on one basis and I plan to keep doing so. We have little mom and son dates every now and then. Their favorite thing to play is a video game called Wizard 101 and I'm getting me an account so I can go online and play it with them. I'll have to let you know how that one goes. I also need to make a better effort this year to read to my kids each night and to be more patient with them. Sometimes I forget they are just kids and I expect too much.

This past year Doug was laid off from his job. Luckily for me the man is a genius and it didn't last long but it did force us to get our finances settled and under control. This year my goal is to keep it that way! We also will be focusing on paying off our last large loan to the wonderful people who lent it to us. We also really want to start a Roth IRA for both kids to use for either their college education or their first home purchase.

It looks like I will be an active Realtor again in 2010 and hopefully under a new brokerage, I'm excited but a little worried with how the economy is still looking so if someone needs a house, send them my way please!

My other project for the year is CraftSpy.com. This was one of my Christmas gifts from Doug and I plan to spend a lot of time making it work. Hopefully this and real estate together can let me continue to stay at home with my kids where I want to be. I also would like to get a few ebooks onto the kindle site and have some fun with that but we will just have to see on that one.

This year I also want to be better at staying in touch with those old friends and family who I have either lost touch with or will be moving away. I want to be a better friend, sister and daughter and be more supportive. I have amazing people in my life that I need to appreciate more. This also mean I need to blog more so I can show off my cute family to those out of state families.

2010 will probably be a fun and adventurous one. Cam will start 1st grade, Wes will be in Kindergarten. Doug may switch jobs again and I will be starting my new work projects. We have tons of home projects we need to take care of and hopefully between all of that we will take a little vacation or two. I'm so grateful for my little family and I'm excited to see what the next year brings. I hope you all have an amazing 2010!

Happy New Years!

2010-01-01T12:31:00.000-08:00

Wow, it is already 2010. That is just plain nuts! I have neglected my poor blog over the past year and so much has happened that I need to write about. Cam turned 6 in November, I will write him a letter very soon. We lost a little one in our family this past Dec on the 23rd, little Wesley James Blackett, Jason and Angie's little boy. Again, I will write about him soon also once I can wrap my head around things. I'm hoping to blog again soon, I just haven't had it in me. Those of you who have emailed or stayed in touch on Facebook, thank you. I will update again soon. :)

Happy Birthday Cam

2009-12-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

Cameron, sorry your b-day letter is a bit late this year, I love you so much and here you go little man!

Dear Cam,

Cameron, you're 6! Wow! I can't believe how creative, sweet and funny you are. You have decided this year that you want to be a Ninja. Really! We even have a friend who has been a Ninja (costume and everything I swear) and he has shown you a few moves. Most pictures of you we take these days you are doing a ninja stance or I have just talked you out of doing a ninja stance, lol. It's pretty awesome.

You love art. From making me little notes and pictures to designing video games on paper you are all about creating. Your kindergarten teacher has told me that you not only do the letters and words you need to on your papers but you like to write pictures to go with them. You just brought home a self portrait that you did in class and guess what you drew yourself as? A Ninja!

You are the sweetest boy buddy, always giving me hugs and telling me you love me. Your in a stage where you don't want kisses in front of your friends but hugs are still okay for now, whew! I'm not sure what I'm going to do when you decided your too big for that.

For your birthday this year you wanted a Monster Cupcake Birthday. When I asked you what that means you gave me The Look and said "Um, you make Monster Cupcakes Mom..." Haha, it was great. Yes, I should have known huh? You had several friends over and you all had a blast making the cupcakes. You even included Wes, I was so proud of you for that. I know it's hard sometimes being the big brother but you're doing great at it.

I am so proud of you for working so hard. When you want something you really go for it and I love how passionate you are about life! I so hope you keep that passion. I love you SO MUCH sweetie!

Love, Mommy

Oink

2009-10-30T12:44:00.001-07:00

So, any guesses what we had this week? Come one, I will give you a hint.

Oink. Oink, Oink.

Yes, we had the SWINE FLU. Don't you think that just calls for all CAPS? I think so. So anyway, yes, Doug and I have had the Swine flu and really, I gotta say...It wasn't so bad, I mean, yes, it sucked and all but no more than the regular flu. I'm assuming it didn't hit us too hard because we are typically healthy people other than the never ending mini viruses we seem to get. Anyway, I can't really complain. I'm just so glad the boys didn't get it, well, Cam had a fever and a cough for all of 2 hours one night but other than that they seem pretty healthy.

The downside to all of this is that we had to keep the kids home since Wednesday because we weren't sure if they would get it or if they could give it to someone else even if they didn't have it. Wow, can you say run on sentence. And then...ha, just kidding.

So Cam stayed home from his Halloween party today just in case, poor kid. To make up for it we are decorating cupcakes, making candy necklaces and finishing our masks to go with our costumes so the kids can Trick or Treat without getting sick or getting anyone sick. By the way, is spraying down candy with Lysol REALLY going to far or is it just cautionary?

Well off I go to finish my costumes and take the kids Trick or Treating at Grandma's work. I'll post pics later.

A Fun project

2009-08-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

Marlo, I was having so much fun on Elements, I hope you don't mind that I did this. The original file looks much better (not so grainy) I promise. Give me your email and I will email it over.

Oregon Vacation

2009-08-23T18:51:00.001-07:00

We got back a few weeks ago but this is really the only time I have had to post. Okay, I'm lying, I'm lazy. Anyway, I thought I would post some pic of our escapades and the amazing home we staying in thanks to Patti and Jim! So here we go....
You can't really see them in this pic very well but there are about 30 or so Sea Lions on the rocks.

Poor Wes is wiped out after a day at the beach

They are a bit excited to get on the canoe, can you tell?

A beautiful day on the Oregon Coast

This is Cam about to jump into a massive crater in the middle of sand dunes, the pic really does not give this "hole" it dues.

Wes didn't love the cold water but he really loved digging in the sand.

I know they aren't in order but we have already established that I am lazy so you will have to deal with it. Now my problem is that I REALLY want to move to Oregon!

Happy Birthday Wes!

2009-07-20T12:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Wes,

Wow, you just turned 4 on the 11th. It is just so crazy but fun to see you growing up into being a little man. Right now you are asleep in your bed with your reading light on and wearing your Spiderman underwear and your sandals, it's just so you!

You have been busy this past year playing outside on the trampoline, learning to ride a scooter and discovering that you love to do tumbling and tricks. You already know how to do a hand stand on the trampoline and a flip all the way over, you're just so big!

Everyday you ask me when you get to start school and every day I tell you Sept. 8th and you moan and say "But that's forever!!!" You are so excited to wear your new school clothes and your backpack is already packed. You also keep asking me if there will be girls at school because you have found out that you like girls already.

I asked you what you wanted for your birthday and you said "1 present, a cake and a pinata...and maybe 1 more present...or two." Haha. We ended up throwing you a little party at Grandma Patti's house, you had an ice cream cake pinata and you got a light saber, a ray gun and a transformer for your birthday. You also got a yummy chocolate cake with strawberry filling and you said it was the best cake ever! You are such a grateful little man, you always tell me and daddy how much you loves us and tell Cam that he is a winner. You like to tell all your friends that they are winners :)

We are so proud of you and in awe watching you grow up. Some days I just want to keep you little forever but the older you get you show us what an amazing person you are. I love your cuddles and kisses, I love your stubborn little attitude even if I don't tell you that, I love your enthusiasm over life. I love you little man.

Love, your Mommy.

I'm back!

2009-06-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

Are you frightened? You should be. Kidding. Sorry it's been awhile, to be honest I have no excuse. I was really enjoying having my hubby home but then he just had to go and get another job. Okay so I guess that is pretty good huh? Sadly he hates said job. Bummer. So he is still looking and if anyone hears anything let me know please! Thanks.

Other than that I have just been enjoying my kids. It's really hitting me that this is the last summer before both my babies will be in some sort of school. Crazy! It makes me feel old and I'm too young for that! I was planning on posting a bunch of pics but I can't get this camera my mother gave me to talk to my PC. I'm Digitally Challenged. It's a tough condition to live with but I will make it.

So yeah...not much to say, sorry. I can tell you my kids are adorable, how about that? The other day I had a horrible headache and Cam and Wes made me a bowl of cereal all by themselves and brought it to me in bed. I still haven't asked how they got the milk down from the top shelf of the fridge because, really, I don't think I want to know.

Cam asked me the other day how to get a girlfriend. I told him when he is older and he likes a girl enough to hold her hand and maybe kiss her on the cheek then he can ask her to be his girlfriend. He said EEWWW! He also said that he isn't ready for that but maybe when he is 17. Hehehe. I agree.

Wes is in a stubborn "I'm always right" stage but it definitely has some amusing side effects for all of like. Like when he insists that two hundred million thousand twenty three and 40 thousand is a coherent number. The color his face turns when I explain that these number don;t quite exist the way he is saying them is picture worthy. I'll try to get a pic to show you what I mean.

Poor Cam just stubbed his toe. He says it is the worse pain EVER!!! He is also limping. But on the wrong foot...hmmm.

As for me, I'm a bit less crazy, maybe not certifiable anymore. I've learned that if I tell the kids that I'm working while I'm actually playing on the Internet that I can earn a good 15 more minutes of alone time. Yes, I'm lying and I'm proud of it thank you!

I'm trying to relearn the basics of web design. I know, everyone does it these days but I thought maybe if I have enough small side jobs going on that I can actually bring in an income. We'll see. My first web site I'm designing will be my father in laws, when I'm done I will let ya all know and I will expect much love even if it sucks.

Well I'm off to make dinner and clean up the back yard. My mom is coming over tomorrow to hangout and I REALLY don't want her to see the mess that is our yard.

What a day

2009-05-05T23:49:00.001-07:00

Well, Doug was laid off today. His company let over 80 people go. He did get a comp package so we will be fine for awhile and worse case we'll pack up and move to Mexico and live on the beach while hiding from debt collecting leaches and changing our names yearly. I always wanted my boys to be bilingual.

My hubby has serious skills so if there is a job out there than he will get it, I totally belive in him. I just wish I had some skills to offer. I really don't have anything I can do in this market to bring in enough money to support a family, it's a blow to my over inflated ego really.

Oh and incase anyone is curious, cobra health care is about 1400 a month. I'm sorry, did you just choke? I thought I heard something... Oh wait, that was me.

-- Post From My iPhone

Marriage Defined

2009-04-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

Marriage: A Noun

Definition:
1. the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.
3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.

This issue keeps coming up in my circle of friends, my family and blogs. Several well known articles have been written in the last year that confirm what we all know; that when it comes to arguments over same sex marriage were one side is faith based and one side is not, the faith side is losing. This makes me happy for several reasons and I've written on this subject before but it seems like yet again, I can't keep my mouth shut.

The newest argument that is gaining publicity over all is that marriage should be for religious couples only and that all other couples should only get to have civil unions. If a law is created that specifically says only couples that are married in a religious ceremony get to call their union a marriage this same law will need to specify which religions are considered true religions or true churches. There are several well known christian churches that have baptised members who are gay/lesbian and who find no fault in their way of life. Will these churches be allowed? If their church is not allowed can you imagine the law suits, the challenging of religious freedom, the repercussions to the state, etc? These laws are harmful because they would specify certain groups as being "correct" or "true" and others as being a joke. Well what if your religion wasn't on the list of acceptable faiths? How would you feel? I'm assuming you would be hurt, disgusted, offended and feeling down right rebellious, which you should be by the way.

I am a good person, my husband is a good person. We are good parents, good citizens and we contribute to society in a positive way. I have been told by several people, both friends and family that because I don't believe in God that I should only be able to have a civil union and not a marriage. Why should I be expected to have my marriage defined by any group of people? Why does it need to be defined at all? I happen to have a very healthy, happy marriage. But because we don't believe in God we should be able to have the same benefits as other marriages?! Also, there have been several surveys done throughout the years and do you know who has the lowest divorce rate? Atheists and Agnostics. See the following link http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm. I don't find this surprising, as a majority of the marital strain I have seen in couples is due to religious conflict, having more children than they would otherwise choose, living places they wouldn't otherwise choose, and paying a tithe that puts unnecessay strain on their relationship.

Then you have the people that say that a civil union and a marriage are the same. Then why would you need to define them if you believe that? Why do you feel that your relationship deserves what you feel is a superior title? Myself...I don't really care what you call my marriage. To be honest I don't care about that little piece of paper that is filed away in some state building. I went through the ceremony for friends, family and the dress. Signing that paper did not in any way make my relationship stronger or my commitment any more serious. It does offend me though when you tell me that my relationship with my husband deserves less respect than yours due to the difference in our beliefs. This is not a matter of opinion, this is a question of right or wrong and you are wrong!

I just find it sad that there are people out there that feel the need to look down on any group of people whether if is because of sexual preference, religion, skin color or any other superficial reason. They are discriminating and they are ignorant.

It's Official: I Suck.

2009-04-17T21:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I suck at this blogging thing. I had so many plans and stories and ideas that I thought I should share with all you people but instead I do nothing. I write nothing. I sleep. Yes, that's right, I have no excuses to offer up. I have been sleeping and existing peacefully and I have not blogged or really read many blogs for quite awhile. I seem to have taken a break from the Internet for about a month. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. In fact I didn't even realize I was doing it.

Do you know that I had no idea that it was the 17th of April today? If you asked me the date I would have guessed that it was maybe the 8th? or the 9th? Which is funny if you think about it because I know Easter this year was on the 12th and since I participated in Easter festivities I should have realized that it must be nearing the middle of April. But I didn't. I suck.

What have I been up to? hmmm. Well these are a few things that have been going thru my mind int he last 24 hours:

-Dear lord, I am about to be the mother of a Kindergartner! I have to turn over my child to a complete stranger for 2.5 hours a day and hope that they teach him to be a good little human that can read and write and be civilized when cookies are not involved. Because really, who can be civilized when cookies are involved? And why is there not an armed guard at the door of the school with another armed guard guarding the first guard?

-Don't you think it would be fun to be a relay operator? Especially when it is a call from an irate customer. Do you get to be angry on the customers behalf while relaying the call? Or do you have to be professional? If they swear at the person they have placed the call to, do you have to swear for them or should you sensor yourself? Because really, I think it might be a wonderful form of therapy to get to act out someone else's frustrations. And what about phone sex calls?!

-I'm wondering if a slurpy made from Diet Coke would have any effect on Mentos. Wait, reverse that. Would Mentos have any effect on a Diet Coke slurpy?

-We haven't had a home phone in years. This means that Cam and Wes have not learned how to use a phone. Have I stunted their mental growth?!

-When Britney Spears sings that song "Have You Seen Amy", does she really think she is fooling anyone? Although I have to admit, it is a great workout song.

-I miss pottery. I miss hanging out with my mother in law. So much that I'm feeling a bit lost.

-Why is my water softner making that blasted noise?!

So, there is just a few of the random thoughts that have gone thru my mind today.

***

On another note, Easter went well. We celebrated with family at a church up in SLC the Saturday before, luckily there was no religious stuff so we all felt comfortable, we didn't offend anyone and there were no awkward moments. There was also tons of delish food. I also have a confession...we didn't hide eggs the next day for the kids at home. We just told them that Easter was at the party. We're torn on the whole Easter bunny thing so we were happy to not have to tell them anything while they still had a ton of fun and candy. I doubt we will get away with it next year.

The kids have been amazing and cute and are getting all old. Cam has started saying "Oh Crap Dang" all the time and Wes "Hates Everything!!!" Delightful huh? But really, they are amazing kids. Tomorrow we are headed to the park to try and teach them how to ride bikes without training wheels. Any bets that I will be having a heart attack? Maybe I should have a martini or two before I go. My poor kids, I would wrap them in bubble wrap if wouldn't suffocate them.

Never Ending Battle

2009-03-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

Seriously, is there some unknown force out there who has control of the health of my family?! I am so tired of my little boys being sick, I know it could be so much worse, really, I do. But this is so not fair for my kids to constantly be sick! I feel like I need to throw a fit on their behalf because they just can't type the words themselves.

Cam has had a fever for 2 days off and on and is covered in a rash head to toe. The saddest part is that it might be from anxiety. Yes, my poor 5 year old is already plagued by my neurosis. Or it might be a strep rash but the docs don;t know so we are just hanging out until they do. He also has a cold. I now have a cold. I want to climb into bed and sleep but when I lay down I can't breathe. Oh and this horrible cold just started about 5 hours ago and I already can't breathe. Arg!

Okay...I'm going to be positive here...none of us have cancer or is dying, we don't have to be anywhere and we have a wii in the house for the kids to play while I sleep.

That's all I have in me. Off I go to take a NyQuil.

Save Money on Groceries

2009-02-27T09:15:00.000-08:00

So I, like everyone else, am trying to spend less on food. It seems like the cost of groceries for our little family has almost doubled in the last two years so I've decided I can't just buy whatever I want. I was talking to my neighbor about it and she told me about this awesome site http://myfoodstoragedeals.com/ where you can sign up for 7.50 a month (if you use promo code) and this cute lady goes through the top 5 grocery stores in UT and posts what are the best deals in the weekly ads and creates a meal plan using the foods int he weekly ads and using basic food storage items. She gives you the meal plan and shopping list each week and man the recipes are so freakin good! I used her meal plan with a bit of tweaking last week and I shopped using the ads the last two weeks and so far I have saved about 60.00 when compared to what I usually spend, how cool is that? Now I just need to start using all these coupons that I have clipped too.

Anyway, just thought I would share my new favorite money saving site. Anyone else have some awesome sites that help them save money? I need some!

Sorry!

2009-02-24T18:58:00.000-08:00

So, yeah, I've been a very bad blogger. Between me and the kids having the flu, colds and strep I have just been too tired and in too bad of a mood to blog. But today! Oh today! It was 61 degrees outside! Can you tell I'm excited?!!!!!!! Hehe.

I also went to the doc today and I'm hoping I have a thyroid problem. I know, I shouldn't hope but I can't help it. Between being so cold that I hurt and my hair falling out, not to mention the non existent weight loss, I just want to feel better! I'm tired or being tired, ya know? So hopefully within a month I will be on some nice yummy drugs and I won't have to wear my robe to bed and use 3 blankets on top just to be semi warm.

By the way, right now I am watching the Presidential Address and I'm fuming!!! Seriously? How can the even think that people won;t realize that this is a coordinated circus? All the standing and clapping is making me sick. The empty promises that have no hope of being carried off. I'll admit, The President is charming and charismatic. He is brilliant, in fact I really like Obama and I would have voted for him if I could. But man, if he could pull off all the tax cuts while starting all the programs and reforms he promises he would have to be a God.
It will be interesting to see what happens and when but I have a feeling this will be a very different nation by the time his term is over, I just hope it is a better one.

Well off I go to try to do yoga. Feel free to laugh at that image.

Valentines Day

2009-02-05T15:52:00.000-08:00

Okay people, I need ideas. Every year Doug and I just hang out at home, I make him a nice dinner and we sit around and watch TV on V day. Well I want to do something fun and cute this year and I don't know what. Should I attack his car with poster paint? Should I get him a gift? I have no idea. I guess I'm not very romantic. I remember back in high school the girls used to "Heart Attack" the guys lockers or cars but I think Doug might kill me for that.

I remember when I was in the 7th grade my dad found out I had a little boyfriend and he made me break up with him the day before Valentines. The sweet kid, Brad, still brought me chocolates and I felt so bad that I didn't bring him anything. I also learned not to tell my dad about my boyfriends! Shhh, don't tell him.

Cam gets to have a Valentine's Day party at school and he asked me if he can make a special valentine for a little girl in his class. He said he really likes her and that he would like to ask her out but he thinks he should get her a gift first. I asked what he likes about her and he says she always wears a bow on her head and that she is the nicest girl ever. How sweet is that?! If the boy has crushes now how will I ever control him when he is a teenager?

Okay all, you have your mission...Give me some ideas!

Well that was easy

2009-01-30T11:18:00.001-08:00

So I called the CEO's office of Tmobile and complained and now I'm out of my contract. YAY! And to make the day even better....Doug bought me an iphone! I'm so spoiled.

Oh and...

2009-01-30T10:44:00.001-08:00

My mom had hand surgery today and is doing well. She is recovering at home and will be in a cast for about 8 weeks but hopefully this will help her a ton.

I missed her call today due to the Tmobile madness. I think that is what set me off.

I hate Tmobile

2009-01-30T10:28:00.000-08:00

So for the last year and half since moving to Riverton I have had a ton of problems with my phone service. It will say I have 5 bars but when I try to make a call it has left the network so I have to take out the battery and put it back in to reset it. I have tried a new phone, I've tried a new sim card, they have sent out technicians twice to check the tower and both times they say that it should be fine. The other part of this is that I live about 10 blocks from Camp Williams and I guess Tmobile is not one of their trusted carriers so they will cut any tmobile phone.

Anyway, I went in today to talk to the local branch and they said they have had a ton of people with these probs who live near bluffdale and that they think I need to cancel. But I have to pay 200.00 to do it. Even though I lose service daily at home, even though I spent 90.00 on a phone I didn't want just to have more problems, even though I have put up with this crap for a year and a half I can't cancel unless I pay 200.00!!!ARG!!! And I can't pay 200.00 because I will have to buy a new phone that I can actually use with AT&T because I have to have a phone because this is also our home phone.

Oh and apparently in Riverton/Herriman/Bluffdale area Sprint, Cricket and Tmobile all have probs just in case any of you need to know this. So I filed a complaint with the BBB today and I really home they can find a solution for me because this is ridiculous!

Thanks for letting me vent. Oh and just to let you all know, Wes threw up int he car today. So yucky.

Headache

2009-01-25T18:02:00.001-08:00

I have had this annoying headache for about 4 days now but today, oh wow. I woke up in so much pain that I grabbed an ice pack for my head. After a hot shower, ice and a neck massage I was starting to have tunnell vision so I finally relented and took a Lortab. I'm so glad I found two in the closet! There is nothing like a nice drug induced coma to get rid of a headache.

Sadly, I completely forgot that I was supposed to meet my cousin and a group of women at Pei Wei (my favorite place too!) and I slept until it was too late to go. I hate when I am that flaky friend! I'm so sorry Robin! I owe you lunch, seriously!
I know I can sometimes be forgetful and flaky and I really need to figure out how to use my phone to schedule things a bit more effectively. I guess that needs to be added to my To Do List this week.

On a completely different note, how do you deal with High Maintenance friends? You know, those ones that get mad if you don't say hi every time you are on MSN or think that you are purposefully being mean by not calling or texting every other day? I'm just not built like that. I have a friend who is mad at me because she thought I was mad at her so now she won't talk to me. Oh the drama! How do I deal with this? I'm just so tired of it!

Anyway, I'm off for another hot shower and more drugs and sleep. I'll be more positive tomorrow.

Something kind of fun

2009-01-25T09:24:00.000-08:00

I saw this on a friends blog and thought it could be kind of fun. I've done the things in bold.

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch, if beading jewelry counts
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not sick.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language. I'm slowly teaching myself Spanish, does that count?
37. Had enough money to truly be satisfied.
38. Seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served in a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Been to the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the paper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had Chicken pox.
89. Saved someone's life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Hmmmm. It looks like I need to travel more. Too bad I have a fear of flying.

Mary Kay

2009-01-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

So...My Mary Kay lady really wants me to have a party here for her. Would anyone even want to come? I know that those parties have been so over done but I feel like I should do this for her. Let me know if you would want to come, if not just feel free to ignore this post :)

Religion or not

2009-01-18T12:20:00.000-08:00

This post is going to involve some venting, please don't take offense. No, there is no religion bashing :)

I'm always surprised at the reactions of people who find out that I am not religious. Yesterday I went to a Mary Kay party for a friend of mine and I was asked what religion I am. I said none and the woman said, "well your something though right? Like you were raised in a religion?" I said yes, I was raised in the LDS religion but I am no longer a part of it. She looked at me like I had said a vulgar word then another woman said "But I'm sure your still a good person?...". She looked like she was waiting for me to confirm this. I had another friend tell me that I am an irresponsible parent because I am raising my kids in a non-spiritual home. It doesn't matter that provide my kids with unconditional love, shelter, food and teach them empathy and compassion for others.

Hmph. I find it odd that people can't believe that a person can be both a good person and non-religious. I know it isn't everyone out there who feels this way, I think I just run into this a bit more often in UT. A friend of mine like to tell me that we are "Freaks" for not believing in a higher power and that she is just relieved that we are still good people. She likes to say "You can't trust an Atheist". But it is okay to trust someone who believes that the Universe will give them everything without working for it, they just have to ask? Or someone who has been participating an a 2000 year old war over which religion has the right to a hill? Would I be respected more if I believes in Zeus and Athena? I find it strange that my beliefs are less respected than someone calling themselves a wiccan, prays to trees and creates "spells" to receive wealth.

I just don't get it. All human beings have morals! It isn't religion that kept me from committing crimes growing up, it was that fact that I have empathy and compassion for fellow humans. It was knowing that there were immediate and harsh consequences. It was respecting other people and their property. I was raised by wonderful parents who taught me right from wrong and even when I didn't agree on important matters I respected my parents and tried to follow the rules as much as a teenager does. Why do people assume that I don't have morals or ethics because I don't have a God in my life? Arg!

Sorry, needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

Favorite Weight Loss Sites

2009-01-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

So as we all know I'm trying to get healthy by working out and eating right and in the process I would really like to lose 40 lbs. Well I thought maybe some of you would like to see the web sites I have been going to that either motivate me or educate me. So, here is my list:

Eat This Not That This is actually a part of the Mens for Health Magazine and the online forums. It is amazing to see the differences in of different foods compared to others.

Spark People I love this site. It is kind of like weigh watchers but better. You get recipes, meal plans, exercises and motivational articles. Plus you can track your goals, what you eat, what type of workout your doing and how many calories you are burning. And the best part...It's free!

Hungry Girl This was started by a woman trying to lose weight and she takes recipes from stores or restaurants and remakes them to be tasty but healthier. She also has a very cool cookbook.

Chubbie Chica This girl is just plain cute. She menu plans, she posts weight loss advise and tips, she is funny too.

I try to go to these webs sites everyday just to remind myself that I can do this and to get tips. I guess it just keeps me motivated.

I ran into an old friend today at Target and she was telling me that she does the MD diet. I guess it is like Weight Watchers but you get a B12 shot every month and they do a consultation to figure out why you are gaining weight and plan a diet from there. Well, I am cheap and I don't want to pay 40.00 a month so I went to the health food store and got some B12 that you put under your tongue, this way I can take how ever much I feel like I need for the day up to 5000 mcgs and it is only 10.00 for 100 pills. I'm also going to start drinking green tea, I made some today and wow, I think I should have only used 1 tea bag instead of two because I'm kind of buzzing, hehe. I ordered a heart rate monitor too so I can see if I am really working out hard enough and I will know be able to figure out where to keep my heart rate when working out.

The lady at the herb store I went to was awesome, a bit herby (I don't think that is a word but it should be) for my tastes but she seems knowledgeable at least. She gave me some herbs that will hopefully help this stomach ulcer too and she gave me a discount, yay! I'll see if they actually work.

Anyway, I am going to lose this weight this year dammit! Even if I have to become a nature freak and give up chocolate. See how serious I am?

The neighbors dog

2009-01-15T17:38:00.000-08:00

barks and barks and barks. It is driving me insane! How much does he have to bark before I am justified in calling my neighbor and tell him to put the dog inside? I mean this dog starts at about 7:00 am, weekends too. He finally stops around 10am then starts again around 6pm. He them barks till after 10pm almost every night. It is so annoying!!!

Croup

2009-01-15T13:12:00.000-08:00

Poor Wes is sick again. He woke up with a nasty case of the croup 3 nights ago and it is still coming back off and on. We had a scary night on Tuesday though, Wes woke up in his third croup attack of the night around 2am and nothing would help. We tried the hot steam, we took him out in the cold, we tried medicine, nothing. When we took him outside we noticed that he was sucking in his ribs when he was breathing and his lips and fingertips were turning whitish so we raced to the hospital. We spent the night over at Jordan Valley Hospital getting him some steroids and breathing treatments. Luckily they took one look at him and rushed us back so he was treated really quickly. I love that hospital. I had to take him back to the doc yesterday for another treatment and more steroids and it is looking like I might have to take him in again, I'm waiting for the doc to call. I just feel so bad for the poor kid. He does okay until he starts to run around then he comes over choking and coughing. Sad. At least last night he only had little attacks so he got some sleep.

This whole thing makes me want to move to somewhere warm like TX! Anyway, I have been working out but I missed yesterdays. Ive got to get on that treadmill tonight though, I must look good in a swimsuit this year!

Update

2009-01-12T15:11:00.001-08:00

I've worked out every day but 2 since Jan 1st. And to be honest I haven't given my all everyday but hey, I'm trying! And...I've lost 2 pounds! It may not be much but I will take it. I now have a new event to work towards too. Doug's family is going to the Oregon coast in August for a week and I am determined that I WILL wear shorts. I also have to wear a swim suit during various activities and I really don't want to be fat when I do, especially because yucky fat bounces. Can we say eeewwww?! Also, I cut my hair! And it looks cute, yay! I needed a change.

Today I had to go get a new drivers licence at the DMV and I was pleasantly surprised that there was no waiting. None. Then we went over and registered Cam at Kindergarten at the local public school that I hope he won't actually have to go to. I'm still hoping that he will get chosen for one of the local charter schools. When we went to the school today there was a bunch of Kingergartners who parents were late picking them up, these kids were running in the parking lot right in front of the school office. But no, no one bothered to get out of their seat and yell at the kids, they just sat there and talked about how crazy these kids were. I finally told the kids to stay on the sidewalk when they played because there were cars backing up. Do I really want my kids going to a school where they won't be supervised?

I took the kids to the library today too. I have to say, the Riverton Library is great of course but it seems like it is going a big down hill. Most the books I picked up seemed to be dirty or ripped. It was sad. At one point Cam picked up a book and said "Mom, I think someone sneezed on this.". Eeewwwww. We did not check that one out.

Well off I go to pottery, yay!

Quirky and Cute

2009-01-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

Cam wrote a song and I thought you would all love to hear it. Okay, I thought I better write it down and this is the place where I do that. If we ever get our video camera back from the warranty people who are holding it hostage I plan to bribe him to sing it and I will post the video.

Here is the song:

When I go to the beach, I just don't know
When I go back home, I fall in a hole.

Yes, my son is a musical genius.

Wes 2008

2009-01-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Weston,

Last year you became a little boy instead of a toddler. You found your voice and you love to use it! You have discovered what you want and you want it the way you want it. Your days were filled with shooting games, superhero stories and climbing anything you could. You spent most of the year outside but then it snowed and you weren't so sure anymore. You test me whenever you can and I wouldn't change that for the world! I love that you question everything even when it frustrates me. I hope you keep that part of you.

Last year you discovered the garden. You love to go out and see what treasures you can find, eat or dig up. I think you ate 10 lbs of peas from the garden last year! I would give you a water bottle and you would head out and water all my veggie plants plus plant some of your own. You loves the tomatoes and I found you sneaking into them so many times, I would find you just sitting on the ground with tomato seeds all over you and you would have this sheepish little smile. So cute!

Last year you learned to dress yourself and use the potty and now you are so very independent. You do it all yourself and you don't want help. Luckily for me you still need me to cuddle when you're hurt or to cuddle up on the couch to watch a show. We will watch a show and you will look at me and give me a big smile and kiss, then just go back to the show. You like to make sure that Cam knows that he is your best friend and you are always trying to be like him by doing what he does.

Last year you discovered Super Hero's. You put socks on your hands and ran around making magic with them. You climbed the chairs, couches and wall some days! Most days I would see your cape flying behind you when you ran. Your favorite game in the world is to play The Incredibles with Cam. You say "Let's play it in reals life!" Then I hear shooting and banging and I know you are having a blast.

Last year you discovered the computer. Lucky for you your Grandpa Bill had an extra laying around and I think I barely saw you for a week. You love to learn but you want to do it all on your own so the PC works for you. You have learned to count to 17, your colors and shapes and you love art. I usually find you in there making some sort of creation on KidsPix with dinosaurs or tools being involved.

My hopes for you in 2009 are that you keep that impish grin you have. I hope you keep those fun little quirky looks you give me and continue talking with your hands. I hope you love pre-school in the fall and that you make friends easy. I hope you stay healthy and happy and continue to be the fun loving kid you are. I hope you stay cuddly and kissy and soft. I want the baby in you to stay even though I know that it won't. I hope you keep your enthusiasm for life and your sensitivity. I'm excited to see what changes will come this year. Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you!

I love you,

Mommy

Cam 2008

2009-01-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

Dear Cameron,

Last year you found your imagination. Your life is filled with spy games, pirate ships and ghost hunting. You throw ice balls, fire balls and webs using your bare hands. You climb mountains that look to me to be couches and ski across the kitchen floor. You have more energy than I know what to do with but I am trying to be patient and working to love every minute of it.

Last year you started pre-school and found your self some good little friends. I love hearing the stories about Michael and Blake at school and it's so fun to see you learning to be a friend. I guess you have always been good at that really, you call Wes your best friend and you always make sure he is included. You are an amazing big brother! Every time I tell you that you are wonderful or amazing you tell me not to forget about Wes. You are my sweet mannered boy always making sure everyone says please or thank you or excuse me.

Last year you lost two teeth and discovered the magic of the Tooth Fairy. You spent your money on a book and a transformer and when we got home you asked if we could pull out more teeth, hah. You love to earn money but you really don't like cleaning to earn it. You're so funny when you lay on the floor and say you're just too tired to pick up that last sock!

Last year Daddy bought you a bike after you begged for a week. We went to walmart and picked up a red bike just for you and you rode it every night after dinner that you could. You would wait at the backdoor for daddy to come home so he would take you on your walk and ride your bike with your brother. You get this look on your face when you are concentrating and I just can't help but smile whenever I see it. You get the same look on your face when you play the Wii sports games. Oh and wow, you have REALLY discovered the Wii.

Last year you started to get a little self conscious and it broke my heart to see you question and doubt yourself. You have a hard time trying to do something new because you are afraid you won't be good at it or that you will fail. You are such a sensitive sweet boy, I just want to protect you from everything. I want to follow you around and catch you. If I could wrap you in bubble wrap I probably would! You have made us so proud just being the person that you are. I want to keep you 5 for a few more years and I am working on appreciating the little moments. I'll try not to yell so much and I will try to play more. I get to be the superhero mom with the stretchy legs! At least that is what you always tell me I get to be.

My hopes for you in 2009 is that you will stay the same sweet, fun, energetic boy that you are. You start Kindergarten this year and I hope you love it. I hope you remember how cool of kid you are even when other kids might make you feel like less than that. You are learning to read and I hope you find the love of reading that your dad and I have. I hope you know that your Mom and Dad will be here the whole way cheering you on. I hope you have a healthy and wonderful year and I hope that you see how amazing you really are!

I love you,

Mommy.

Sweet boys

2009-01-03T20:44:00.000-08:00

Before I had kids I always though that I would never yell, I would always be kind and never sarcastic and I would always spend bedtime telling stories, tickling feet and tummies and I would never yell at them to "Just go to sleep!". Yeah, then I had kids and real life set in. I yell too much. Bed time is probably one of my most frustrating times of the day because I am so busy thinking about what i need to get done or what I have planned when really, the Internet and my shows will just exist without me.

So I'm trying something new. Tonight there was no yelling. There were stories and snuggles and reading and tucking in (one of those tuck ins were into a tent by the way) and the night was so good. I still got my me time, I still read my blogs and watched my shows but I took ten extra minutes to make my boys have a good night.

I know most people would read this and thing, um, yeah so? I don't know why I took so long to get to this point and I'm sure the monster in me will come out now and then at night still but I am actually looking forward to bedtime with the boys now. I had to sneak back in once they went to sleep and see my little men all peaceful. It's amazing the transformation...the creases are gone, their mouths hang open but there is no sound for the first time of the day. I guess I'm feeling a bit reminiscent today, I've just realized how big they are getting. I'm going to miss Wes sneaking into our bed at night because someday he won't want to cuddle at all. I'm going to miss Cam asking me for stories about super spy's and pirates and zombies. That boy has one serious imagination! Anyway, I had to get out their baby pics tonight to prove to myself that they were tiny at one point and I thought I would share....

This is Cameron when he was 3 weeks old. He slept the entire time we took pics. He was one of those babies that wither didn't dry at all or really let you have it for an hour. I remember pacing the floors trying to get him to sleep wondering if that would ever pass. I love that when I look at him sleeping now he still has this exact same face.

This is my little preemie Weston. He is 4 weeks old in this picture and he still looks brand new. He was so small that he didn't fit into the car seat quite right, we had to roll up blankets around him. He has always been the snugglie one, even as a baby he would snugglie into me to sleep. Sweet boy.

These pics almost make we want to have another baby. I said almost!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T15:50:00.000-08:00

Every year I do resolutions and I think mine have been the exact same for the last 3 years. It usually goes as follows...

Lose weight-Get healthy but losing about 30 lbs or so
Learn Spanish
Stop yelling at the kids so much
Find a way to make money from home
Get our finances under control.

Well dammit, this must be the year!!! I must get control of my health and my finances. Maybe if I do I might get rid of some of this anxiety. Arg. So my resolutions are all the above mentioned plus...
Play with my kids more. The Wii, outdoors, Legos, etc. I just need to remember to enjoy them while they are young. I need to take them to the pool this summer, I want them to love the water.

To be a better friend. I tend to be a flake when I feel crappy or when I am over stressed, I need to stop that before I start to lose people that I care about.

To be better at updating this blog and my others. I also need to get a bit more creative (notice anything diff?) and I need to post more pics. Also, I would really like to sell something on Etsy...any ideas?

To stop worrying about what people think of me so much. After all I'm pretty amazing right? Or so I am going to tell myself so that maybe someday I can be.

Get really good at pottery, good enough that I can give these creations as gifts without feeling like a schmuck.

I need to study. Anything! I love to study different religions, I need to learn more about economics and business.

I need to be less lazy!!! I need to organize and follow a plan and actually stick to it. For some reason I have never had will power. I need to find a way to get some. Know where I can buy any?

I want to be frugal. I want to live on the smallest amount possible. I don't care if this means price matching and coupons or shopping at the DI. When I'm not working my job needs to be saving this family money.

But mostly to just appreciate how luck I am in life. I have an amazing family, both my little family and my extended, a warm comfy house and healthy food to feed to our kids. I need to remember how lucky I am and stop focusing on the small imperfections of life.

Last year was great. No surgeries and all life changing decisions that were made were only the good kind. Doug had a bit of a medical scare but luckily he's all heeled up and back to his usual self. Our boys grew so much, Cam is in pre-school and is now learning to read, Wes is his quirky usual self and very stubborn. They both think they run this house and are always surprised to find out that they don't.

I'm sure this next year will have it's ups and downs, with this economy we never know what will happen. Cam will start school in the fall and Wes will start pre-school too. I'm hoping to get back into real estate at some point and get some sort of home business up, again, any ideas? Doug is planning for a possible promotion (I don't care what you say babe, it is a promotion, hehe) and he is hoping to get more apps up on the iphone store. All in all we are hoping for a quiet year with maybe some good adventures but nothing to crazy. I wish the same for everyone else!

Thank you everybody for everything you do and for being so amazing, here is to a new year!!!

Wii Challenge

2008-12-30T09:49:00.000-08:00

So I am going to do the Wii Fit Challenge starting January first and so is Doug, woo hoo! Anyone else want to join? Basically you have to workout on the Wii Fit for 30 minutes a day(if you don't have on just do some sort of cardio for 20 min and weights for 10) for 30 days. I guess the average person loses 10 lbs. I'm also going to try to eat under 1300 calories a day, we'll see how that goes.

This all means that I have to get rid of all the candy in my house including the HUGE bag of peanut M&M's too, sad. It will be worth it though. I refuse to have yet another year of being to embarrassed to go to the water part with my boys. It is on! haha.

On a sad note Cam just started puking about 30 minutes ago. So sad. I hate when kids are sick. I'm not sure if New Years will be much fun for us this year. That's okay though, I just hope the poor kids gets better. And I really hope Wes doesn't get it. Off I go to buy some Airborne before the whole house gets the flu.

Random...

2008-12-30T08:45:00.000-08:00

Do you every feel useless as a stay at home mom? I know I do stuff, I even do a lot of stuff but it is all random house cleaning/child care/financial stuff that never stops needing to be done. I'm just having one of those days where I feel like I don't have much to offer as a woman and as a wife. I'm feeling like a nanny and a housekeeper most the time. I have to say, it sucks. I just want to feel like my ideas are worth something and I want to contribute to finances somehow but nothing is working out.

Hmmm. I'm just having a pity party aren't I? Luckily I have a hubby who appreciates me and kids who are pretty amazing. I guess I need to just suck it up and realize this is how it is going to go for a few more years.

Seriously though, how do those mommy entrepreneurs do it? How do they figure out a way to have a career and be a great mom? What is their secret?! Every time I have worked I feel guilty when I am working for not being with my kids and I feel guilt when I'm with my kids because I'm not building my business. So it all blows up and I end up taking a year off of working until I feel like I'm useless and I am going insane. Ugh.

Sorry, I guess I just needed to vent. I'm off to adjust my attitude now.

A Very Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T21:47:00.001-08:00

Well today was perfect. We were lucky enough to spend time with family, some of which we rarely see. Unfortunately we didn't get to see my parents because a nasty snow storm hit, we actually got about 10 inches in 6 hours. Insane! We had a great morning with the kids though, it was so fun to see their face when they realized that Santa had come. They were properly spoiled with all sorts of fun toys by us and grandparents this year. I think seeing kids open Christmas presents is one of my favorite things in life. Just the excitement then the reaction to what is inside. I love every minute of it. Pictures coming soon of course!

Doug and I were also spoiled today by Doug's parents, they gave us a Blue Ray DVD player and Patti gave me two months of Potter classes! So now I can go as much as I want and not feel guilty about it. Yay!

I'm sitting here writing this while wearing my new fleece robe, so comfy, and I'm thinking we need to have a girls night here and sing along to the Mama Mia DVD I found in my stocking this morning, anyone up for it?

Merry Christmas everybody, I love you all and I hope you had a wonderful day with family and friends!

Time Fly's

2008-12-19T16:07:00.000-08:00

So Christmas is in just 5 days. 5 days! I had so much planned this year, I was going to be crafty. I was going to bake goodies with the kids for the neighbors. I was going to be done Christmas shopping by Dec 15th, I'm not by the way. I was going to read a Christmas story to my kids every night, I haven't. Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year but this year I kind of feel like I let too much go. Hmm. Bummer. I guess I will just have to do better next year.

I think I have been letting a lot of things slip lately. Like Doug has pretty much been living out of a laundry basket because I can't seem to put the clothes I wash away. My bathrooms aren't exactly clean right now, I just can't seem to get myself to go and scrub those toilets. The kids needed baths yesterday, seriously, should a 3 year old smell like that?! Luckily he doesn't seem to mind but we MUST take a bath tonight.

Honestly, I'm just one of those people that can't suck it up and just get stuff done even when I don't feel good. When I hurt or feel sick I just want to lay around and no nothing. Okay, not nothing, I want to be on the Internet readying all my favorite blogs. That's one thing I'm good at it reading my blogs! Hehe.

I just realized that the company I sent the video camera to to be fixed still hasn't called me. That does not make me happy.

Okay, enough complaining and venting, I'm going to go make dinner and finish up some Christmas gifts. Must. Be. Productive!

Cam too!

2008-12-18T08:47:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

See, Wes looks like both of us!

2008-12-18T08:39:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Free family tree maker - Geneology

A Long Day

2008-12-17T21:55:00.001-08:00

Well, today I spend the day in the ER. Apparently my ulcer is not gone. The good news is now we know, I will have new medication tomorrow and the best part...I have Lortab. Woo Hoo! It was a really rough day but luckily all will be fine.

I have to just brag for a minute about my husband. He is so amazing. I called him while I was at the doctors this morning in pain and he dropped everything to come pick me up and rush me to the ER (my doc said I had to go there) and then he even held it together while I fainted. Yes, completely fainted. It was very embarrassing, mostly because I was sitting in a chair at the time and slid out of the chair when I fainted causing my shirt to raise up and show off my not so small and very white belly. Now that is what everyone wanted to see today, yuck.

Then my hubby stayed with me all day, he only left to eat when he knew my blood tests looked good and I was napping. He put up with my whining and tears, helped me walk when needed and just plain pampered me as much as he could. He even bought me a yummy pumpkin shake on the way home and put the kids to bed. Man, I love him. I swear, I fall in love with him all over again every now and then.

And my mom...she dropped her entire day to take care of two very energetic kids, played with them, fed them and just plain old had fun with them. I can't even say how much stress it took off of me knowing that the kids were having fun and I didn't have to worry about my boys seeing me in pain or passing out.

What do people do without family around?! I never want to find out.

Random

2008-12-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

I'm craving fudge

I just had a taste of the BEST barbecue sauce ever! Thanks Robin!

I should be shopping, wrapping or organizing to get ready for Christmas. But I'm not.

I'm wishing I could figure out why I am so anxious lately, something needs to give.

I am addicted to blogs. So very addicted.

No matter how hard I try...I just can't stop watching Days of Our Lives

I need to do some laundry. Dang.

I made Chicken soup, Pork Loin and Chicken Enchiladas today and packed my husband 12 lunches. I'm feeling very domestic. Hmmm, if only I could be domestic in the cleaning and organizing way.

And now it is time for a hot shower, hot cider and 4 blankets in a big ol bed.

It Finally Feels Like Christmas!

2008-12-14T11:39:00.000-08:00

It finally feels like a holiday is here because it finally snowed and it stuck! Yay! I also got to go to our family Christmas party with my side of the family and it was so nice to hang out with family. My mom went all out and decorated the table with cute little mug centerpieces for us to take home, cookies for the kids to decorate and amazing food. Yum! Now if only my stomach could handle drinking coffee these days. Oh well, hot chocolate here I come! Her Christmas tree was gorgeous and perfect of course too, she is so good with that stuff.

Of course, like every year, we all got spoiled by our parents, even our kids. My kids each got these big remote control trucks and two transformers each plus candy and a game each. They have already used the trucks enough that we have had to charge them twice and we just brought them home at 5:00 last night. Doug received an amazing set of hand tools, he was very impressed with my dads pick and I think he wanted to sleep with the tools last night, haha. I got the most fabulous Christmas book on crafts, food and decor. I love it! Plus my mom got me some new commercial cookie pans, I really needed those. Like I said, we were spoiled! When we got home Wes turned to me and said "Mom, people gave me presents, I must be awesome!" It was so cute!

Yesterday was the first day of my 12 Days of Christmas that I am doing with the kids, I told them that the decorating the cookies at Grandma's and helping each other with their new toys was their service for the day, they loved it. Today we will be making snowflakes out of coffee filters for our 2nd day and they get to pick a service for someone that ranges from saying something nice to doing a nice thing for someone else. I hope it works. Were trying to raise our kids to know that Christmas isn't about the presents but about family and friends and giving. Maybe they are too young, I don't know. Because we don't do the Nativity story in our home we have to get creative, I hope they have fun at least. I must go and iron the coffee filters now, yay for me.

No posts, sorry

2008-12-11T20:09:00.001-08:00

I've been a bit off this week, just a lot going through my head and a lot of stress with the kids. I will be my usual self soon I'm sure and be back to posting after the weekend. Have a great weekend everyone!

What a day

2008-12-07T20:41:00.000-08:00

Today I got to sleep in until 11:00 (Woo Hoo!) then I woke up and made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, made a cake for Jim and Cam's birthday celebration that we went to tonight, made macaroons which didn't turn out at all (sad), cut Doug's hair and cleaned the living room all before 4:00. I didn't exactly get much relaxation in today but we did make it to Patti and Jim's house where we had some yummy food and good conversation.

Cam got the cutest little spy case for his birthday from Grandma and Grandpa along with a spy watch. It is a very Big Boy present and he is thrilled. As the kids all played and drove us nuts we talked about holiday plans and what we are going to do while family is in town. So much planning that needs to be done!

Sadly I'm feeling a little weird today, my mind is wondering and I wish I could share but I just need to deal with it on my own. But all in all, it was a pretty good day.

Bedtime

2008-12-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was putting Cameron to bed and he started crying, so I asked him what was wrong and he said some kid in his class told Cam that he isn't smart. Is it bad that my first reflex was to hunt this kids down and throw sand in his eyes? It just broke my heart to see Cam hurting over this especially because he is such a smart kid! In fact, his teacher told me that he did the best on the kindergarten testing out of the whole class, even if it was only by one point. She also said he is the one of the only kids close to reading, so seriously, what is wrong with this kid saying these things?!

But then I realize that they are just kids and it shouldn't be a big deal and that Cam won't even remember this when he is older. The sad thing is too, I can totally see Wes saying something like that to a kid, telling them they aren't smart because, wow, Wes knows how to push some buttons.

Really, can't I just homeschool them? That was the plan for so long and now everyone tells me that I need to send them to school. That is hard for me. I don't want to let go, I don't want bullies getting to my kids and I don't want them EVER getting their feelings hurt. I know, I am being crazy, but still....hmph.

Prop 8, The Musical

2008-12-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

I had to post this, it is the best comedic Prop 8 video out there...

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Sick. Again. Seriously.

2008-12-03T15:39:00.000-08:00

Yep, really. This time it is a cough cold type thing. I've had it for 4 days now but I was trying to be in denial over it. I didn't want to admit that I am sick again. Really, how do I get my immune system to actually keep me healthy?! I am burning a lemon grass eucalyptus candle right now, it is supposed to kill the germs in the air. I have sprayed the house down with Lysol and Clorox the tubs. I don't know what to do. Am I using too much hand sanitizer? Maybe I need to go roll in the dirt.

Luckily it seems to have barely touched the kids, Wes was sick with the croup for one night and Cam was only sick for two days. Now poor Doug is getting it. Ugh. I feel like people think I am making this stuff up just so I don't do things with them. I'm not, I swear! I really do just have NO immune system. I take vitamins, well, I try to remember to anyway. I do need to be better at that.

On the up side, I have gone an entire week without diet coke and strangely, I don't even want it anymore. Coffee is another story. I had one the other day but it killed my stomach so I cut that out too. So depressing. I really look forward to having a cup of Joe every morning while checking my blogs I read. Oh well.

I hope your all well and NOT in bed with this sickness.

Happy Birthday Cameron!

2008-11-27T20:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Cam,

Tomorrow you turn 5 years old and I can't believe it! This past year I have seen you excel in jut about everything thing you do. You tackled riding a bike, you lost two teeth, you became the head of your pre-school class not only in school work but as a leader for the class. Some days you ask for a treat to bring home to Wes because you feel bad that he can't go to school with you, It always makes Wes feel so special. Thank you for that honey. You are an amazing little man and I am so excited to see the man you become someday.

When you are really excited you squeal in delight, it cracks me up. Your favorite things to do lately is helping mommy cook, playing daddy's game "in real life!" as you would say and playing the new Wii games with Wes. You are so patient with Wes most of the time, your always trying to help him with his games and telling him what a great job he does, you guys really are best friends. You love to run and jump and just be crazy any chance you get. You also like to sneak down to daddy's office at night and wear his head phones while you watch him play his game. You love to craft, you make things like robots and pets out of paper and boxes, I think your favorite craft thing is pipe cleaners, you make booby traps with them and you like to tie my kitchen drawers shut, haha. You also tie toys together with them and wow, it is hard to untie them! You are learning to read and you are so good at it, your always chewing on your fingers till they are red so I have to remind you to keep your fingers out of your mouth when you read.

Today when I was tucking you in you told me that I was the best mommy in the world and that you would never find a better mommy than me. When I left your room I couldn't help but cry because I am the lucky one to have you for a son. You are the first to say sorry and the first to forgive, you are the one always making people laugh and saying the funniest little things. I love you so much!

My hopes for you growing up is that you don't try to fit into the crowd, you are born to stand out and I hope you know how cool of a kid you really are. I've never seen a little boy make friends as fast as you can! I wish I could protect you from the world but I know you have to learn to be out there on your own, it's hard for mommy, I want to always hold your hand. I worry with the economy the way it is, I worry that you might not get to grow up in this home like we plan or that you might not get spoiled like other kids do. I hope when you grow up you know that we did our best for you honey, we want to give you the world just a bit at a time. I want you to know though that no matter what happens you have a family that will be there for you always. You have a huge family that loves you and loves to be around you. I hope you remember the memories we're trying to help you build.

I'm sure tonight will be one of those nights that I sneak in and lay by you, I have to do it now because when you are older you will think I'm weird! haha. You are an amazing boy honey, I can't wait to see what the next year brings for you!

I love you Cam, you are an amazing little boy and I am so glad that you are in my life!

Love, Mommy

Nevermind

2008-11-26T08:29:00.000-08:00

yeah, that to do list? Not doing it. I was up throwing up all last night. I don't think the ulcer is gone.

I just thought I would share that information with you all.

I hope you all have a great day, I will be in bed.

Wednsday To Do List

2008-11-25T21:26:00.001-08:00

Seriously, I can't find a pen. In this entire house, I can't find a pen! So, this is kind of like my notebook so I will post it here. Below is what my day will be like tomorrow, luckily it is kind of a slow one.

-Wake up with Wes at 7:00 and do the dishes and wipe down the kitchen before we have to get ready to go.
-Pick up olives and another bag of rolls at Walmart for Cam to take to him Thanksgiving feast at Pre-school
-Be back by 9:00 am so I'm here when Camille drops off Sam
-Fold the remaining 2 loads of laundry and get the last load into the wash. Put all 8 loads away. Yes, 8. The good news is that I finally saw the bottom of the laundry basket so at least I know there is a bottom.
-Change sheets on all beds and get in wash (see, it never ends!)
-Wipe down main bath, downstairs bath and scour master bath. Hopefully Sam is taking a nap tomorrow so I can do this one.
-Call the Pediatrician for Cam's 5 year check up.
-Call the joke of a company that is supposed to be working on our video camera.
-Call and schedule the boys dentist appt.
-Finish Cam's recipe book for his birthday Friday, won't have time on Thanksgiving.
-Do craft with boys and have some Wii tme (hehe) Okay, fine, I am so not funny.
-Workout. At least do some crunches and yoga.
-Get myself ready for the day. What? Do you guys actually get to do that in the morning?
-Clean pool room. It hasn't been cleaned since the last party. Yeah, I'm gross. Nothing is growing at least!
-Stop at the bank and deposit check.
-Go on a date with my dad! Yay!
-Hopefully be in bed by 10:00. I wouldn't bet on this one.
-Blog and answer the Mystery Shoppers survey.

Diet update

2008-11-25T12:09:00.000-08:00

Yeah, today, I'm doing okay Other than for a snack I am eating a cup of croutons. I thought it sounded like a reasonable snack, but I just read the back and 1 cup has a whopping 24 grams of fat and 340 calories! WOW. How is that possible? Isn't it just bread with barely a drizzle of oil and herbs? Apparently these are fried with the chicken skin or something. Hmph.

I also had my first diet coke in four days today, hey I needed it. Last night was rough with Wes and I figured I could have diet coke and a little more sanity or I could meet my goal of not having it and end up in tears. In this house sanity wins out most of the time.

I did work out the last two days and I plan on working out today too. Right now I'm watching my sweet little niece, Tristan. I just got her to sleep, whew. I forgot how hard babies can be to calm down. She is a mama's girl and I don't don't have what her mama has.

****

On a new note, I am thinking of hosting a Writers Workshop or a Craft DIY Workshop on the craft blog. Would anyone be interested in either? Or have friends who might be? I've decided it is getting to cold to leave the house so until March all sociallizing will be done online. So I need more online friends. Come on, you know you want to....

I need a better attitude

2008-11-24T17:53:00.000-08:00

I told myself two days ago that I would stop being so negative. I know my life is amazing and , really, I am VERY grateful for it. Sometimes I just need a reminder when I am feeling a little beat up on...

So I am grateful for the mortgage we have because it means we have a beautiful home to raise our kids in.

I'm grateful for all the piles of laundry I have because it means we have plenty of clothes.

I'm grateful for the mess downstairs and the blaring TV because it means our kids have a fun safe place to play in.

I am grateful that I have two crazy annoying expensive dogs (who get into everything!) to play with and for my kids to grow up with.

I'm grateful that I have a yard big enough that we have a serious weed problem, even if it provides a home for a mouse. It means my kids have room to run and I can have the garden I want.

I'm grateful for the work Doug does even if it means hours away, stress and frustration because it helps me appreciate him even more and it reminds me that not everyone is lucky to have an income right now.

I'm even grateful for our debt. Our debt means we our healthy, we have what we need and we even have a few nice toys. I just need to look at my beautiful boys once to know I couldn't put a price on them being here. It's also made me figure out the difference between wants and needs. I'm working on it at least, okay?

I am going to try and keep this list in my head, I need to focus on the good stuff. Really, so many families this year don't have a home to live in and call a cot their bed if they are lucky.

There, attitude adjusted. I still want wine and chocolate though.

Rat poison cost me 216.77

2008-11-24T16:29:00.000-08:00

Rat poison cost me 216.7 all because my two dogs decided to eat it. We had hid the poison in the garage wall because we thought we heard a mouse and I saw one a few weeks ago. We hid it in the wall behind a table leaning against the wall. We have no idea how the dogs got it out and managed to devour half of it. That mouse had better be dead!

Luckily I discovered Loki eating the poison or I would have had no idea that they even got into it, I would have went to my sisters house to play and come home two or three hours later and I would have found one very sick dog and a semi sick dog. Apparently Sammi is smarter than Loki, she only ate a little. After having discovered this I promptly googled it and thought it was fine, they couldn't have ingested enough. Then came the foaming and twitching and weird breathing. That is when I freaked. I don't handle medical drama well whether it is my kids or my dogs. So I rushed them into the Vet, they had peroxide poured down their throats and they were forced to eat a charcoal mix. Poor pups. They were both given IV's and poor Loki, his blood was so thin from the poison that they had a hard time getting the IV in correct I guess. I could hear him yelping. I felt AWFUL about all this. They are completely worth it, COMPLETELY, but I felt a little more awful when I was told the 4 hour trip was going to cost us 216.77, which we don't have. Ugh. So now I'm no only that owner who accidentally poisons her dog, I am the owner who can't pay for the treatment on time. They love me over at the vets. I feel like the WORST owner ever!

Luckily both dogs are doing great, they have to take Vitamin K for the next two weeks and drink lots of water. They are both pretty ticked off at me right now and Loki is just laying there in the middle of the floor. When they feel better I am so making them a small steak, I owe them at least that much.

Goals

2008-11-22T20:44:00.000-08:00

Every year I make the same personal goals: To lose weight, learn Spanish, complain less, be more domestic and find a career that suits me. Well, every year I seem to let myself down. I don't know why I have no will power but I seem to be the queen of "I'll do it tomorrow". So as I was sitting here tonight eating M&M's I decided I need to try again. And again and again and again if I have to. So I re-signed up for SparkPeople.com. It's kind of like weight watchers but it's free and it is only online. I've also decided that I need to put my reasons why I need to lose weight so that you can all remind me why and yell at me and bug me about my progress. So...The goal is to lose 30 lbs. Ugh. No, I take that back, I'm not going to be negative. Okay, 30 lbs. Why?

1. So I can run and play with my kids without wanting to die!
2. To look hot for my hubby. I REALLY want to look hot naked! hehe.
3. For my health. I know, this should be first but hey, at least it is on the list!

For now I am giving myself the goal of 10 lbs by Jan 10th. Spark People tells me I can so I CAN! I am going to start working out on the Wii Fit for strength training and yoga for 30 minutes a day. I am also going to try to climb my stairs 6 times every hour. I will also play the Wii tennis or boxing with the kids for at least 30 minutes, I need to teach them to workout while they are young right? I have to give up diet coke for good both for my stomach and for my belly! And does a person really need to eat chocolate and bread for a meal? Um, no. I'm going back to making my low fat green smoothies everyday and I am going to drink at least 8 tall glasses of water a day. Whew, I've made a commitment, help me stick to it okay?

As for the Spanish thing, I have actually done a bit better this year. I still can't speak it but I can at least understand a small amount when I pay attention. I've started watching Spanish DVD's with the kids too because they love the language. It's amazing how fast they pick up and remember words!

The career thing...Well I love real estate, I really do. But the market sucks and I don't have the time or money to make my business successful in a market like this. So I am venturing into the blogging world in other niches and hopefully in six months or so I can get some traffic and start making some money there too. Check out my other blogs at Meals and More and Crafts and What Not, a craft blog venture with my sister. I would love comments and critiques at both blogs. I'll be pathetically honest, I need an income!

And now for the Domestic goal...I actually succeeded at becoming a semi-organized Domestic Diva. You would think it would come naturally for me but it SOOO doesn't. I have to follow a house cleaning routine and plan my meals in advance or my whole week flys by before I realize that I got nothing done! I've even got the house organized for the most part, woo hoo! My one GIANT failure...Laundry. I hate it okay?! I can't help it, it mocks me. If only clothes would fold and put away themselves. So tomorrow is the dreaded laundry day. Ugh.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, please, do me a favor and kick my butt for me?

Super Wes!

2008-11-19T23:11:00.000-08:00

I just thought you would all want to see this, because really, who wouldn't? This is one of those moments where the entire world is just the way it should be.

He Lost a Tooth!

2008-11-18T13:29:00.000-08:00

Cam lost his first tooth two nights ago. Apparently it fell out when he got up to use the bathroom that night. Instead of waking me up to tell me he just put it under his pillow for the tooth fairy to turn it into money. Well, um, "The Tooth Fairy" was asleep and didn't know he had even lost a tooth so the boy was pretty disappointed in the morning.

So last night, after I had thrown away the tooth and Doug had to dig through the garbage for it, (aren't hubby's great?) The Tooth Fairy made him a simple little card with a picture of his tooth on and a little pocket to put the money into. Luckily the The Tooth Fairy actually showed up last night and remembered to leave him 4 quarters. He was so cute this morning showing off his money, it was like Christmas morning to him.

It really hit me that my first baby boy is turning 5 next week. I just can't believe how big he is!

Happy Birthday Patti

2008-11-16T12:41:00.000-08:00

My Mother-in-law had a birthday on the 9th but we celebrated this weekend. She doesn't read my blog so I can brag about how wonderful she is without embarrassing her.

This amazing woman raised 6 boys, put her hubby through school and supported her hubby while he worked 2-3 jobs off and on. She was willing to move to a different state and even a different country when necessary. My husband remembers her rarely yelling and that when ever he needed to talk she was there to listen. She used to put the boys to bed so she could hear all about their days. All six boys every night. She also went back to school, got her degree and she is now a Regional Legal Director at an international company. How amazing is that?! She has supported her boys all getting married in the last 12 years, welcomed 11 grand kids and listen to her 6 daughters in law cry over babies and hurt feeling. She has traveled the world and learned to be an amazing potter. Patti is one of those woman that I look at and just want to be like her. I want her drive and her patience. She rarely gets flustered or at least she doesn't show it. She is generous and kind and amazing to her family. She is an amazing mother and grandmother and she is one of my best friends. I can't even count how many times she has listen to me cry, complain, stress out and just plain old lose it.

Well I could go on and on and on but in the season of Thanksgiving I just wanted to post about how thankful I am for having this woman in my life. I don't know if she will ever read this but just in case...Happy Birthday Patti!

A Moment

2008-11-16T12:38:00.000-08:00

Right now I am sitting here playing on the Internet, drinking hot apple cider with whip cream, eating freshly baked bread dripping in butter while watching Diners and Drives. My adorable children are watching Cars downstairs all cozy in their blankets and eating the popcorn snack bags I made them. My sweet hubby is enjoying his day off playing WOW in his office after he helped clean the house this morning and he woke up with the kids while I slept till 10:30.

What a perfect morning!

Merry Christmas To me!

2008-11-15T12:51:00.000-08:00

My hubby decided to buy us our family Christmas gift early.....A Wii, Wii Fit and Guitar Hero World Tour! Yay!

So I am off to get skinny. Have a great weekend!

The GED

2008-11-12T21:47:00.001-08:00

Okay now I have people asking me why I left High School. To make a Really long story short I was sick and I missed about 3/4 of my sophomore and junior year because the doctors couldn't figure out why I kept passing out and getting headaches. By the time we found out that I have Vaso Depressor Syncope (it's a little heart valve issue) it was too late to finish High School the regular way. I tried to finish by going to an "alternative school" but that was complete joke. So I got a medical release, took the GED test and there have been very few times that it has negatively effected my life. I did have one company tell me that they couldn't hire me do to a company policy, once I told them the reasons why I didn't graduate they offered me the job. I turned it down :)

So there's that. Any more questions?

Oh! The popcorn question. Marlo from Murls country taught me how to make popcorn on the stove. I had tried it before but it was never edible, I just got charred little bits of nastiness. Apparently you use butter and olive oil and you keep shaking the pot the whole time pretty much. Then you add Parmesan cheese and yummy herbs, mmmmm. I had this a for the first time a few weeks ago and now I have it almost everyday. I have to say, it is not helping me lose weight. But I bet it is better for me than ice cream!

I Got Tagged

2008-11-12T15:38:00.000-08:00

I got tagged by Chris over at East Coast Mentality in UT so Chris, here it is!

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:

1. Dating my hubby
2. Looking forward to a moving to NYC or some other far away city
3. Living with my parents
4. Leaving high school and getting my GED, I bet half of you didn't know that!
5. Camping every weekend

5 things on my "To-Do" list today:

1. Chores
2. Blog
3. Crafts with kids
4. Learn PS Elements with my sis and do crafts
5. Work on reading with Cam
5. Workout. Hmmm. Not sure this one is going to happen.

5 snacks I enjoy

1. Chocolate
2. Dark Chocolate
3. World Class Chocolate ice cream from B&R's
4. Cereal, preferably Grape Nuts with sugar on top. Maybe I should add chocolate chips to this too...
5. Popcorn, made the Murl way.

5 things I'd do if I was a millionaire:

1. Pay off the house
2. Pay off my families houses
3. Take a vacation
4. Pay for someones surgery. Wouldn't it be fun to drop 100k check by a family who really needs it?
5. Start a business. Probably a pottery studio.

5 places I've lived: Okay, be prepared to be bored!

1. Great Falls, Montana
2. Twin Falls, ID
3. Bountiful, UT
4. West Jordan, UT
5. Eagle Mountain, UT

5 jobs I've had:

1. Personal Trainer (don't ask)
2. Make-up Artist
3. Insurance Sales
4. Realtor
5. Software Account Executive (Fancy name for sales agent)

5 People I tag:

I'm not really a tagger so I have to say no one.

Equality

2008-11-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

I know I said I would stop posting about Prop 8 but I realized that I can't. I can't because I can't stop thinking about these men and women who are just like me. They work, they pay taxes, they fight for our country. They are parents and brothers and sisters and daughters and sons. They feel every emotion that I feel because they are human beings. These are not people who are different than us, they are people who have been made different by a society willing to judge and strip rights away from these men and women. These men and women had the right to marry, just not the people they love. How is this okay? How is this justified? It was justified the same way that blacks not being able to marry was justified. That the ban on interracial marriage was justified. It was justified by men and women who listened to someone else, who were told lies about what would happen to their families and their marriages. People have let the bible be a guide for hate and discrimination. There is only one part of the Bible that I have taken to heart.

Do Unto Others As You Would Expect They Should Do Unto You

Have gay men and women voted on our straight marriages? Have they tried to end our relationships? To take away our dignity by stealing our right to be with who we want to be with?

No, they haven't. They have felt the sting of prejudice and hate more than some groups. You have your right to think it is wrong or think it is unnatural. You have a right to your opinions. You do not have the right to strip someone of rights because of your religious beliefs. This isn't a fight about religion. People have claimed that they are against it because their religions may be effected. Well, maybe. They may lose their tax free status sometime far from now but they will still keep their right to religious freedom, the right to practise their religion the way they want and believe in. What is more important though: Being able to write off your donations, tithing and contributions or standing up for equality in the country that you were privileged to be born in? This is a fight for equality for all men and all women in this country. Yes, this is a fight for protectng our families. Protect your children from discrimination and from future discrimination. If the rights of men and women can be taken from them because of a vote, what rights of yours can be taken from you?

Free Range Kids

2008-11-10T21:17:00.001-08:00

I always wonder if my anxiety and paranoia is going to ruin my children's childhood. I have irrational fears but I know they are irrational so I try not to put those fears on to my kids. But at the same time I need control. I need reassurance. I just wonder if I let go enough or too much? If I know that I am slightly insane does that make me a bit less insane? Just wondering.

There is a web site called Free Range Kids and it's all about letting our kids have the freedom that we had. Well, that's hard for me. Maybe because I don't remember having much freedom as a child until I became a teenager. Not that I felt suffocated back then, I'm sure a large part of it was due to my paranoia and anxiety. I used to have nightmares every night. Really, EVERY night. I think I crawled in bed with my mom till I was twelve because I was convinced that one night someone would try and break into my room. Then there was that night that someone did try to break in, that wasn't good for the anxiety problem. Anyway....

I don't remember walking to school without a mom until I was in junior high and half the time I saw my mom drive by when we were walking. I don't think she knows we saw her, haha. I don't remember going to the mall with friends until I was, what, 14? Then when I finally got to my friends and I were totally flashed by a perv! I do remember that my parents hated me being outside after dark. My mom used to tell me most the bad thing that happen, happen when it is dark. Maybe this is part of my deep rooted fear of being alone in the dark? I still cannot be alone in a dark room. Yes, I am 27 and I still have a nightlight in the bathroom. It has moved to the hall bath though okay? Don't judge me!

So how do I know when and is okay for my kids to do at what age? I have no idea when it is okay to let a kid walk to his friends without me. Both my kids know street safety, they both stop automatically when we come to a street. Then again, there are those times Wes still bolts out because he sees a bird or a candy wrapper, man that kid sees everything. But I can't image letting Cam walk down to his friends who lives half a block away because it is around a corner and we have a canal near by. Now we have an added worry that our parents didn't have, the Internet. How do I teach Internet safety without making my kids paranoid? I want them to have freedom but I don't know how much is too much. I'm dreading the teenage years because of this.

One issue I have with some parents these days is overloading their kids schedules. Don't get me know a sport and an instrumental class: Great. But 2 sports, acting, piano, violin, swimming and debate...Um, when do they get to be kids?! I always think that I couldn't handle that as an adult, how can they? I definitely need the kids in swimming class, that is a must. I don't know if Cam will want to do sports, he REALLY doesn't like being told by a kid how to do something. And Wes, well, I think wrestling would be good for him. Is there a Ultimate fighting Champion for 3 year olds?

I wonder how bad I will screw up my kids? I'm glad Doug is level headed, at least the boys have some hope of not being suffocated. I know my kids will blame me for something...pushing too much or not enough, being to strict, not playing with them enough or how they want. Man, there are some many things that they may have issues because of.

Maybe instead of a college fund we should start saving for a Therapy fund.

Sick again.

2008-11-10T11:25:00.001-08:00

Yes, really. Cam and I have colds. Nasty ones. This is how it goes in our house though, sickness from about Sept 1st to March 1st. Everyone we know just looks at us like we must be the dirtiest people in the world to get sick so often. Or they think I'm making it up. Really, I swear, I'm not. I don't want to be sick and I don't want my little men to be sick.

So today, due to the rain and cold and colds, we are having a movie day. Staying in PJs, laying on the basement floor watching movies and eating treats that we shouldn't. I made a hot breakfast for lunch because, well, it seems like that is what my mother would do. I find myself wondering what she would do or remembering what she did do when we were sick. She used to warm up our clothes in the dryer or warm up a towel to put in our beds. She would make a bed for us on the couch and give us sherbet and warm chicken broth. That was one thing that I always appreciated about her staying home, when we were sick there was always someone to take care of us. Speaking of my sweet mom, she is bringing me over a huge tub of felt squares so I can make the kids some felt food. My question: How did she accumulate a huge tub of felt squares?

Maybe if Cam is up to it later we will bust out some crafts. I wish we had a wii right now, that would be a great rainy day toy. Luckily Wes is happy shooting walls, couches and the dogs with his finger gun, he just runs around say "pow, pow!". I really hope that little man won't get sick too.

Off I go to shower, take drugs and cuddle my boys while watching Cars.

Crafts, Crafts and More Crafts with the kids

2008-11-08T20:49:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago our PS2 broke when Wes tripped over the controller wires and puled the system onto the floor. Sad, I know. Moment of silence....Okay, I'm better now. Since this little accident happened my both cannot play well together for more than 15 minutes. This means I can't leave them alone for more than 15 minutes either. So to try and get them to be happy and get along we have been doing crafts. Face masks, clay figures, making puppets, etc. Seriously, this is the only thing I have found that is working so we do about 2-3 crafts a day. Well the other day we had paint time. The kids had a blast making a mess ad I got to have fun and get creative too. Here are some cute pics of the kids. And in case you can't tell Cam loves the camera ALL the time but Wes, well, not so much. I was lucky to get the one pic of him. They both got a little creative and eventually stated painting on themselves.

It started so innocent, some brush strokes here, some stamps there. Soon he was dumping water all over the table! Oh well, he had fun.

Oh yeah, he knows he's cute and talented. He keeps saying he wants to be on TV, I can totally see that too. He loves to ham it up in front of the camera.

Wes was feeling a bit shy but he really wanted to show off his nose paint. Such a sweet boy. I love that he still has some baby in him. After this pic he started painting on his belly too.

I think I need to get them little smocks and easels. Ooooh, and maybe a beret! Okay, no. I won't. Well, probably not anyway.

Potty Party

2008-11-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

Wes took about 8 months to be potty trained. What can I say, he is stubborn like his mom. I finally decided he needed some motivation so we bribed him with a Potty Party. He invited Cam and his friend Jayden and the boys decorated cupcakes, played with their little grab bags and pretended to be Spider Man. It was all worth it just for the pics. This all happened two months ago and I'm happy to say this time the potty training stuck. Since being potty trained it is hard to find Wes wearing pants, he is so busy showing off his new big boy underwear that he can't be bothered with clothes.

Halloween, I know, I'm a bit late...

2008-11-08T20:11:00.001-08:00

But hey, at least it isn't December right? Halloween was a blast, the kids got to go Trick-or-Treating at Doug's work and I couldn't believe how much candy they got. They both walked away with 3 full size candy bars and enough candy to fill a 1 gallon ziplock bag. Of course their favorite part was the candy but the also had a lot of fun dressing up, in fact they have been dressing up in their costumes every day since!

Cam was a SWAT Officer but he called it an Adventurer. He kept running up to people and roaring at them so I'm not quite sure what kind of Adventurer he thought he was.

Wes saw this costume at Costco and said " I will be a dinosaur" so matter of fact that I just had to buy it for him even though it is two sizes too small. He had so much fun and was just amazed that people were giving out free candy. He kept running back to show me that he got even more, it was adorable.

Here are a few more pics that show off our day with Daddy...

Oh crap, I just realized I still have the pumpkins we bought to carve in the back of my car! Oops!

Blog Facelift

2008-11-06T20:56:00.000-08:00

Can you tell I've been having fun? Next step: custom headers.

My Camera is not cooperating so still no Halloween post but I will make sure to get one up soon. Really.

Until then check out my other blogs!

Meals and More and

Crafts and What Not This one is my newest project. Misty, my sister has joined me. We will be making some fun items and hopefully people will actually buy them. I will let you know when the Etsy store is up and running.

I hope everyone is having as much fun as I am tonight. I REALLY need to lay off of the kids Halloween candy.

Well, What can I say?

2008-11-05T21:22:00.001-08:00

I'm excited that Obama will be President. I may not agree with all of is opinions and ideas for this country but I was terrified of McCain. I wasn't able to vote, I am embarrassed to even admit it. It was due to an error on my part and I didn't get registered in time. Sad.

I am devastated that Prop 8 passed. I'm embarrassed that citizens in this country who have seen interracial marriage being illegal, women not being able to vote, blacks not being able to own land and other horrible and embarrassing flaws in our nations past voted for Prop 8. They took away the rights of good, decent people who happen to have a different lifestyle. They took rights away that every other human being in this nation have from people who would fight in wars for our rights as citizens of this country, including the right to practice any religion they choose. Why? Because of an archaic book that tells them that it is a sin and that it can't be a born trait.

I've known people who believe being gay is a choice, a 'tendency' even. I have know and loved gay and lesbian friends. These are people who I knew when I was younger and everyone knew they were gay before they did. They didn't ask for their life to be harder, they didn't wake up one day and decided, hey I will try this out. They fought what they knew was not a decision for them because they lived in a state and were members of a religion that would discriminate against them and make their lives harder than they deserved for it to be. Today those old friend of mine felt hate directed towards them when they got to wake up and see that the people of their state are not willing to accept them no matter how amazing these people are. Men and Women all over the country had to tell their kids that people won't accept them, that their children won't get to see their parents married anytime soon and that their parents who work hard and pay taxes that help families in their state don't get to have the same rights. They were told today that they are second class citizens and it is WRONG.

A religion that I used to be a member of was controlling a huge part of the campaign for prop 8, they encouraged lies and misinformation, they spread hate among members of their own faith and through out the state of CA. Shame on them. Not so long ago they were fighting for their rights to marry who and how they pleased, their members were being imprisoned for going against the standard model of marriage. They preach that Jesus was sent to Earth because he gave everyone the right to make their own decisions and that Satan was the one who wanted to enforce his beliefs and rules upon the people on Earth. The fact that the members of this religion gave millions of dollars and thousands of hours of campaigning to take away someone's right to choose and right to equality is appalling.

This is the last post I will write about Prop 8 and my blog will go back to being light hearted and non-political. But when I have the opportunity to stand for this issue in my own state I will be there holding the signs and donating the hours. I will do the same for any issue on equality because all men and women deserve to make their own decisions and not have people vote on their rights.

Forgive me...

2008-10-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

I am about to bitch and whine so sorry...

I tired of being sick. I'm tired of feeling like crap and being tired all the time. I tired of throwing up. I'm tired of pills. I am sick of not having the energy or patience to be a good mom. I just want to feel like myself again! I don't want to hear the word 'Ulcer' for a few years! These damn pills mess with my birth control so I am an emotional wreck and I feel like an idiot. I feel useless!

Okay, I'm done. I just needed to throw a tantrum. I know it could all be so much worse and I'm lucky that this is a small annoying thing instead of a life altering thing. So I'm done bitching, I just needed to get that out.

A cheerful post will come soon when I can have a better attitude.

A response to the lies being told...

2008-10-25T16:20:00.001-07:00

Here is a wonderful paper explaining how the reasons Yes For 8 are telling people to vote for Prop 8 are lies and misinformation.

http://www.hrc.org/documents/Responses_to_Six_Consequences_if_Prop_8_Fails.pdf

Vote No On Prop 8

2008-10-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you all know how strongly I feel about Proposition 8. Nov 4th will be here before you know it, so all of you CA visitors that have searched and found my blog please watch these videos, some are fun but all remind us of the importance of equal right for ALL men and women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9T7ux8M4Go

http://www.youtube.com/noonprop8dotcom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVRPdQB5BCs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKAqbQlWQhc&feature=related

Prop. 8 has nothing to do with schools, CA already has laws in place that require teachers to teach children about all types of marriage, Prop. 8 will not change this. Prop. 8 takes away fundamental rights. Prop 8 will not force religions to have to marry anyone. Prop. 8 takes away the rights from people just like you, like me, like our family. It gives the government even more control over our daily lives.

VOTE NO!

http://www.noonprop8.com/

Cravings

2008-10-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

I want steak. Medium rare steak. I want Mimi's Cafe spinach artichoke cheese dip. I want Pei Wei Spicy Mongolian Beef. I want Diet Coke! I want food that tastes good! WWAAHHHH....

Sorry, I had to get that out. I'm better now.

Winter

2008-10-22T13:22:00.001-07:00

Winter is coming. I've been trying to ignore it. I'm still sending the kids out back to play, still taking them to the park and I've tried giving them Popsicles after dinner on the porch. But it was dark already, very cold and all they wanted is to come in and sit on the couch with their blankets. You know, like it is cold outside or something.

So, I'm sucking it up and admitting that winter is here. I need to think of all the great winter things like Christmas, sleds, treats, wearing slippers all the time, Thanksgiving, treats, making crafts with the kids, not having to feel guilty staying home all day in PJ's because we are snowed in, and, well, more treats.

These things help a bit when I start thinking about all the snow and driving in the snow and the cold snow and Doug driving in the snow and shoveling snow, etc. If you can't tell, I don't like snow!!!

The dogs seem to like the snow, playing in it and eating in it anyway. They don't like going in it, you know, relieving themselves? In fact they usually whimper and whine for a while, walk in circles and whine some more, then they seem to come to a resolve "I must go, I will go", they run out the doggy door thru the garage and thru the outside doggy door straight into a 6 inch wall of snow. That is when they say screw it and go right there on the cement. Sam usually comes in and gives me a look like "What? You would do it too", then trots right over to her favorite cushion and goes to sleep.

No More Diet Coke

2008-10-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

Well I finally made it to a real doctor today. I was right, I have another damn ulcer. I guess the guy could actually feel that my stomach is swollen and irritated. I can't even suck in my stomach at this point, it sucks cuz now everyone knows how fat I really am. Mr. Gut Doc says I can't drink soda, so no diet coke, I can't drink coffee and I can't eat red meat or spicy food for the next two weeks. Also, apparently raw veggies are bad for the stomach lining and fried foods will make things worse too.

So, um, what do I eat? He suggested oatmeal, breads, soft fruits but no citrus and lots of dairy. So...Ice Cream? Cereal? I really don't like oatmeal.

My meal plan says Spaghetti tonight but I can't have tomato (too acidic) or the burger I was going to put in.

Doc also says my oxygen level is low and that I'm anemic so I will have to start Iron supplements soon, I hate those. I have another appt in 2 weeks to make sure all is better and maybe I will get the okay for diet coke or coffee again.

I might be having withdrawal symptoms soon.

Writer's Workshop: A Holiday Memory

2008-10-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I'm participating in a writers workshop on Mama's Losing It so here it goes...

I remember a Christmas when I was, maybe 8? This was the year my dad had been laid off from his job around July and he was still searching for one when Christmas came around. I remember my parents being so worried that us kids wouldn't understand why we were going to have a small Christmas and us kids were worried that our parents would spend too much on us. I think that is the first year that I realized just how much my parents did for us and how much stress they were under.

That year my mom, my sister and I sat around making a popcorn garland for the tree and we cut out paper snowflakes to decorate the windows. We made homemade hot chocolate every night while we worked on it and my sweet mom made sugar cookies for us to decorate. We were sitting around talking and I was telling my mom about a girl in class who had a pair of Guess jeans and how much I wanted a pair. This was a girl who had everything and loved to rub it in the face of anyone who would listen and to this day the only girl I have ever gotten into a fight with. My mom's face fell and I realized just what I said, I tried to cover it up and say something like it didn't matter but the damage was done. Wow, I felt horrible.

Three nights before Christmas we were just about to go to bed when the doorbell rang. When my dad answered the door there was a HUGE box on the porch full of food, a full turkey dinner, and a few presents for each of us. I know it was probably hard for my parents to be on the receiving end but I remember us all just staring at this bow, amazed at how much there was and how lucky we were. We placed all the gifts under the tree and talked about who it might have been and had our hot chocolate for the night. See this is were I get the love of chocolate by the way! Well, the next night it happened all over again. Then Christmas Eve it happened again. By Christmas Eve before bed the tree was so full underneath that presents were spilling out and we has 3 turkeys in the freezer.

Christmas morning came along with Santa, of course. My dad was so tired from the night before that he opened the presents with his teeth and just kept laughing for no reason. My brother had worked hard all summer and bought me and my sister big teddy bears. I got more presents than I think any other Christmas that year, including roller skates, my first knitting kit (I still don't know how to knit) a few board games, a ton of clothes, hair curlers, art supplies and pair of Guess jeans that my mom had found at the DI and had a friend of hers fix up. I just remember putting those on and even as a kid I knew how much it meant that my mom had bothered to find those and for her to understand how much that meant for me. I also remember thinking how fun it would be to show off the new jeans to this evil little brat at school, lol. And by the way, my Dad got his his dream job the next month that got him started in his tech career.

This year I would love to do a Sub for Santa for someone. If any of you know a family in need or would like to help contribute to a sub for Santa please contact me. I would really love to help a family have a wonderful Christmas and if we all add in just a bit I think we could really make a great Christmas for someone.

Update

2008-10-08T13:36:00.000-07:00

Well I have crawled out of my hole and joined the living. I have to say, if that is the same things the boys had I feel bad that I didn't baby them more. Luckily it seemed to be a 48 hour bug because I definitely feel like I'm on the mend. Until I smell spicy food anyway, I opened the herb cabinet and got a whiff of curry. Gag!

I got another No letter from a job I applied for. I was pretty much qualified for it too. Depressing. I've been in sales for about 10 years, I've sold software, insurance and real estate. I've trained countless people, created presentations, organized events and met with CEO's and VP's. But do these employers seem to care? No, and the reason they don't want to talk to me is because I don't have a degree. Can someone please tell me why I would need a degree to sell something? I understand that a degree shows a certain amount of ambition, fortitude and stability, but some of the people I worked with who had degrees were some of the most arrogant, socially retarded, laziest people I have ever met. Seriously. So can someone please give me a chance so I can prove myself and then I can afford to get the damn degree!

I would love to write for a living but let's be honest, how many of us bloggers would love that and are never noticed by the general public? I would love to find a craft or skill were I could create something and sell it while working from home but no, I don't have those skills or the time or the start up money. I would love to open my Confirmed Now business but that just isn't feasible to do while the kids are still too young for school, it would take time away from the kids causing me to put them in daycare and I wouldn't have money to pay for said daycare. And apparently just the thought causes me to speak in run on sentences. I could get a sales job paying commission only but again, I need money for child support if I work before I can work which means I need a salary. Ugh. It's just a no win situation.

I need chocolate and diet coke.

Ugh

2008-10-06T13:00:00.000-07:00

Headache, chills, nausea. I'll keep you posted.

Another thing..

2008-10-04T09:42:00.001-07:00

It was brought to my attention that people think when I complain about motherhood or parenting that I am saying that I don't want to be a mom or that I don't enjoy it. Well for the record, that is not what I mean!

About half of the time I feel inept as a mom. I can't help but compare myself to my mom or to other moms I know. I don't love the constant noise, I lose my temper, I'm not great at playing with them unless I plan something, etc. But these are not problems with my kids, they are my problems. When I complain I don't mean to make it sound like my kids aren't the wonderful little men that they are. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Really. They are amazing to me everyday and I am so grateful for them. I am sometimes disappointed in myself for not being the mom I thought I would be but I complain or make remarks for a way for me to get over it. I know, it sounds strange.

So no, I don't regret having kids, I don't want them to hurry and grow up. I just want to be that mom that I thought I would naturally be. I'll try not to be so negative, I really have so much in life so I have no reason to be negative.

Anyway, just thought I should clear that up :) And now I am trying to find some fun Halloween crafts to do with the kids, so if you have any ideas send them my way!

No, I am really not kidding

2008-10-04T09:28:00.000-07:00

Cam has the flu, again. This is the second time for him in 6 weeks and the 4th time of having in in the house in the last 6 weeks. Yes, I know it isn't the REAL flu, it is a stomach bug but for the sake of simplicity I'm going with Flu. The poor kid, I guess it started last night while I was at a baby shower, Doug called asking me were the cleaning supplies are. And poor Doug, he has a really hard time cleaning up puke and he has been forced to do it more this month than any other time in our marriage. Anyway, so Cam is downstairs just sitting all sat on the couch with a bowl. I just gave him crackers to try so we'll see how it goes.

On a more positive note, I got to go to a baby shower for a baby girl last night, woo hoo! I love the girly stuff. The shower was for a sister-in-law, Robyn. Her baby is due in 3 weeks by C-Section. Another sis-in-law of mine, Jeanine, planned the whole thing and, wow, I was impressed. Seriously, it was some of the best food I have ever had at a shower. And the gifts! It made me want to try for that girl for a whole, oh, seven minutes? Pink, brown, cream everything. Handmade bedding and frilly dresses, soft little jumpers and bows and soft little stuffed animals. Okay, I want a girl. Maybe I could borrow one from someone?

Doug's family is in town for the shower and we were supposed to go out with them, guys out to dinner and girls out to pottery. Sadly I won't be going, I'll be staying home with little sicky. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't leave him for the world when he is sick. No matter how big the boys get, when they get sick they need their mommy and it is nice to be needed like that every now and then.

I got tagged!

2008-10-02T13:47:00.000-07:00

Thursday, October 2, 2008

8 Things

8 T.V. Shows I love to watch:

1. The Office
2. The Practice, Sam is hot!
3. Chuck
4. Lost
5. Anything on the discovery channel-The Earth, The Universe, etc
6. Privileged
7. Anything on TLC
8. YouTube videos, preferable about religion.

8 Things that happened yesterday:

1. I wished I could work full time.
2. I cried in the pickup zone at IKEA.
3. I told my 3 year old that I was finding him a new family, then I cried and said I was sorry.
4. Watched TV with Doug.
6. I made a killer Shepherds pie for dinner.
7. I ate way too much junk food because I stress eat.
8. I thought about working out. I thought REALLY hard about it.

8 Favorite places to eat, I couldn't put them in any given order, I like food too much!

1 Cheesecake Factory
2. China Chefs
3. JOE's Crab Shack
4. Chillis
5. Red Robins
6. Lonestar Steakhouse
7. Rodizios
8. Texas Roadhouse

8 Things I am looking forward to:

1. Going back to work full time.
2. Going on a date with my hubby next week
3. Hiring a housekeeper when I go back to work full time.
4. Watching our shows with my hubby.
5. Christmas!
6. POTTERY!
7. Being a better mother. Every day is a new day, right?
8. Nights out with my kids when they are old enough to want to hang out with me but not so old that they can;t be seen with me.

8 Things on my wish list:

1. Ron Paul as President.
2. Having no mortgage.
3. Cruise with the girls!
4. To find a true talent, preferably one that I could make money with.
5. To be able to talk openly about religion/politics/economics without feeling like I'm offending people I care about or them thinking I am an idiot.
6. To surprise Doug with the office of his dreams while he is at work.
7. To have my mom healthy and happy.
8. To stay in bed all day and read a book.

I don't have anyone to tag.

A great quote...

2008-09-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware, beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

-Kent Nerburn

Potty Trained!

2008-09-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo! Wes is finally potty trained! We even threw him a little party to celebrate. I know, I have too much time on my hands I guess. He invited a friend over, Jayden, and the kids all decorated cupcakes then played with their prize bags. It was a ton of fun, I will post pics soon.

Pottery

2008-09-24T10:18:00.001-07:00

I went with my amazing mother-in-law Patti to her pottery class this past Monday and it was so amazing to see how it all works, plus I got to get a little messy in the process. Of course I'm not good at it yet and I probably won't be for a very long time because it is just too expensive of a hobby for me to take up, but wow. I had so much fun that I actually dreamt about it. I still want to learn how slab pottery works, I only saw the wheel thrown pottery, and I can't stop thinking about all the ways I could manipulate the clay and possible carvings I could do. I get to go back tomorrow night so hopefully I will get to learn even more. I told my dad about this pottery studio and he is actually going to check into how much a studio could make and how much of an upfront investment you need. I'm about 99.9% sure nothing will happen with it but he has been looking for an investment opportunity, possibly a store front, for a very long time. So, we'll see.

I wanted to post a few picks of amazing pottery I found online, I can't believe how talented these people are.

Patti makes amazing butter crocks, I will have to post a pic soon, but she does the french style. I don't even know how someone could throw this then manipulate it into this dish. Crazy!

I want please! Maybe I should put this on my Patti's Pottery wish list.

I make a mug the other day, I think this is a bit like how I want to carve it. I'm sure it won't look this good but it will be fun trying. I think they must have used a stamp on this instead of hand carving.

Oh, all the pretty things make me want to take up this hobby!

Halloween is coming!!!!

2008-09-23T23:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, I must be a kid at heart because I am SO excited for Halloween, it is one of my favorite holidays. Every Halloween we take the kids to Doug's work all dressed up to trick-or-treat, they get to go to the neighborhood Trunk-or-Treat, my mother's wards Trunk-or-Treat and then we take them trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. Buy the end of the week we are all exhausted and on sugar highs but boy is it worth it.

This year Cam wants to be a Transformer or Batman and Wes is already walking around the house saying "I Batman!" then flying off to the next room. I'm thinking I will buy a funky wig and wear insane makeup and embarrass Doug in front of his co-workers. Oh, and Patti works there too, she won't want to introduce me to anyone!

I remember being little my mom would always dress up like a witch or a clown and take me trick or treating. She was always the mom who volunteered in my class to help with the parties and she helped lead the parade at school. I always felt so special because my mom seemed like she really wanted to be there. I'm excited for Cam's Halloween party this year, I am volunteering to help and I REALLY hope that she will need me. I want to be that mom, I want Cam to have memories like I do.

As I got older and decided I was too cool for mom and dad to take me out they would say I could go trick-or-treating without them but that they would be there still, watching. I remember when I was 13 I dressed like a French Maid, yes, it was a bit small...Anyway, my dad followed us for about 2 hours around the neighborhood and he would always stay behind so that I could have my fun with my friends and feel independent but he was always there just in case. How great is that? He would also do this creepy laugh and no one would know who he was so it scared the crap out of all the kids, lol. It was awesome!

I'll post some fun ideas of things to do with the kids this Halloween on the cooking site, ambersrecipebook.blogspot.com soon, I love holiday crafts!

ANXIETY

2008-09-18T15:42:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just feel like your about to snap? Like you are just one step away from an embolism? I actually feel my blood pressure rising, today it got so bad that I came close to hyperventilating. My chest hurt, I was dizzy, my vision kept blurring, my legs have cramps and I was on the verge or tears for hours.

I finally snapped when I grabbed a paper towel and the holder came right off the wall. I sat down and I cried and threw a tantrum like a little kid. Good thing my kids were sleeping, they could have gotten some killer pointers. Even now, after having broken and gotten over it, the simplest noise if driving me mad! Wes sucking on his GoGurt, Cam mumbling to himself the words of his favorite book, and the dogs are driving me insane fighting.

I need to just go meditate or be by myself for a while and I'm sure some Zoloft wouldn't hurt but right now neither of those are options. So I just need to sit here and try to not have a heart attack till my hubby gets home and I can go to my sisters house and just chill out.

Oh, my cute sister went and got me a yummy Carmel Apple Pie apple for a local store. She knows what I need. So I'm headed over there tonight to eat and watch Newsies. Really, how can someone not be happy watching Newsies?!

On a side note: Cam has a fever. Ugh. The Sickness never seems to leave this house! I'm really hoping it is a fluke thing and that he will wake up fine tomorrow, I'm not sure my mental health is stable enough for a sick child right now.

Cooking with Cam

2008-09-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I do with Cam is cooking with him. Pretzels is one of his favorite recipes and this is a pic of my little Chef when he saw how perfect his pretzels came out.